Today I've decided no more boyfriend drama in the journal entry! Hoorah! Besides, there isn't much drama to be told other than that of strawberries and coolwhip. 
Somehow within my garbled up rollar coaster of fun this past month, I forgot to write about my Betti.
A couple months or so back, strange as it seems, I found a baby siberian dwarf hamster at work-I have no clue how it made it in the mall because there are no pets stores nearby! I took her to a pet shop to find out what she was and I bought her a 'my first home' kit and this really kickbutt glow in the dark mini hamster ball! Little did I know that ball would deliver a fatal day to a rather young and now overweight mousie.
I loved her. I fattened her with treats, pet her, kissed her, even plotted for 30 minutes on the most hamster enjoyable cage arrangement with upmost efficiency before I arranged her new home. It was all for naught. One of Jason's cats had set his eyes on her from the first day of her arrival home. And within a few seconds of my back turned he cracked open her run-about ball and was chomping on her head. I saw her draw her last breaths, I hate him now.
Jason burried her in his backyard, next to the pumpkin vines that bear no fruit. (that story another day) And like a child, I still cried even though I didn't get to become that attached to her.
I am too sensitive I think. I made a cross out of popsicle sticks with her name, but everyone came over and thought it was funny. I just played it off with a forced laugh and fake smile. The other day Jason accidentally mowed over her cross and sent it flying but I didn't put it back. They'd just laugh again.
Something I've been thinking about, spurred by this incident....when one is lost or disappears, it is only noticed if they were noticed it the first place. A simple creature, quiet, reserved, meek... is never mourned for. It stirred no emotion during it's existance, provoked no one, never caused a scene nor fought for something it believed in. It slips in and out unnoticed, and ultimately doesn't exist.
And then I think of myself.
.:~*Niav*~:.
Somehow within my garbled up rollar coaster of fun this past month, I forgot to write about my Betti.
A couple months or so back, strange as it seems, I found a baby siberian dwarf hamster at work-I have no clue how it made it in the mall because there are no pets stores nearby! I took her to a pet shop to find out what she was and I bought her a 'my first home' kit and this really kickbutt glow in the dark mini hamster ball! Little did I know that ball would deliver a fatal day to a rather young and now overweight mousie.
I loved her. I fattened her with treats, pet her, kissed her, even plotted for 30 minutes on the most hamster enjoyable cage arrangement with upmost efficiency before I arranged her new home. It was all for naught. One of Jason's cats had set his eyes on her from the first day of her arrival home. And within a few seconds of my back turned he cracked open her run-about ball and was chomping on her head. I saw her draw her last breaths, I hate him now.
Jason burried her in his backyard, next to the pumpkin vines that bear no fruit. (that story another day) And like a child, I still cried even though I didn't get to become that attached to her.
I am too sensitive I think. I made a cross out of popsicle sticks with her name, but everyone came over and thought it was funny. I just played it off with a forced laugh and fake smile. The other day Jason accidentally mowed over her cross and sent it flying but I didn't put it back. They'd just laugh again.
Something I've been thinking about, spurred by this incident....when one is lost or disappears, it is only noticed if they were noticed it the first place. A simple creature, quiet, reserved, meek... is never mourned for. It stirred no emotion during it's existance, provoked no one, never caused a scene nor fought for something it believed in. It slips in and out unnoticed, and ultimately doesn't exist.
And then I think of myself.
.:~*Niav*~:.
And YOU thought you didn't exist.......
The story about your hamster just makes me so sad- I'd be every bit like you, down to the thoughts about existance..