ngsexplorer

This weekend turned out to be a bit of craziness...Friday night I went out with the girl and we rocked it pretty hard at a couple bars, then once they closed we came back home and had our usual dance party with just us two....Saturday morning we got up and went to lunch at one of our regular bars because they actually do have great food and we ended up having bloody mary's amongst other things. From there we ended up going back to her house and taking a nap for an hour or two and got up and went to a hair/fashion show that had free wine so we were hammering that too...finally Saturday night we come home and have a bigger dance party with a few friends and rock it out til about 5am (while I got a nice stripshow/little more show after everyone left) then get up Sunday go to lunch and meet with my momma at the mall. I got a few new clothes and we wondered around there for a bit and I was so exhausted I was in bed at 9 last night. It was a lot of fun and several other things happened I haven't mentioned on here.

I am just so torn...I know Ashleigh is probably not a good idea for me, but shit I love the girl. When things are clicking and we are having fun and getting along, it feels so right. I've never been so comfortable or able to be so silly and crazy with anyone else. She also has the same sexual drive I do which is really a turn on. I don't know, I don't want to get my heart broken again and she is pretty up and down, but I don't want to let her go and I truly think she has a beautiful person inside that she only lets out occasionally. I don't know that I can wait or hold on long enough, but I also don't want to be like everyone else in her life that has just given up or bailed on her. Someone has to show her they will stick around and love her or she'll never let go of some of her guard. I also cannot lose myself along the way though...fuckin fuck...someone give me some advice please....