How late is this one!? Gonna be well fucked over tomorrow. Grumpy as fuck as well, cos I am well tired but can't/won't sleep, so may as well have a rant as normal.
Or maybe not. I dunno. Just in that bloody zone again... what to do, what to do. Coffee and cigs taste good at this time of the morning, but boy, I need to get my shit together, this lark is getting beyond the joke; sleeping at random times of day, seldom at night which is making me well pissy.
Managed to eat today; griddled salmon steak in a Thai yellow curry with potato slivers & shredded celery... yeah, well, that's my anarcho-fusion cuisine for you, so bollocks if you don't like it, it tasted superb.
Can't remember the last time I took the diazepam and at this time of night I get grumpy and melancholy... should do something positive and sensible like SLEEP
Got added to the army of Calypso's friends list... popular girl, bizarrely enough!? Duh. What the fuck do I care, and I'm all out of man size kleenex, but that's a moot point.
Was gonna post a diatribe about Her, but after 3 months, COME ON, I've got to get over this shit, really I have.
One last cigarette, now my coffee is finished... time to ponder on the fact that someone, somewhere out there is The One, but in the meantime, it's simply that I'm still screwed up, on oh so many fucking levels, and yet still a good guy. So why the fuck doesn't that count for shit?
Craziness over on NDD seems to have left my consciousness, though I wonder wtf happened with the people on there. Can't help think there were people there with serious issues regarding men, plus some kind of power struggle or something. Wasn't a nice experience, didn't help matters that some people chose to come out with some seriously vicious commentaries in public. I guess that's what happens in an unmoderated group for vulnerable people - all hell lets loose the moment all the issues get triggered and mob mentality takes control... march of the sycophants indeed.
But did connect with some good people, some strange (very, very strange) people and some outright vicious and spiteful people. On reflection, again... not so much of a support group, more of a mutual back scratching clique at times. Pity... too many victims unwilling to do anything about their situation except direct their vitriol at others.
Bah, I'm ranting after all. Need that cigarette and sleep, SERIOUSLY
Or maybe not. I dunno. Just in that bloody zone again... what to do, what to do. Coffee and cigs taste good at this time of the morning, but boy, I need to get my shit together, this lark is getting beyond the joke; sleeping at random times of day, seldom at night which is making me well pissy.
Managed to eat today; griddled salmon steak in a Thai yellow curry with potato slivers & shredded celery... yeah, well, that's my anarcho-fusion cuisine for you, so bollocks if you don't like it, it tasted superb.
Can't remember the last time I took the diazepam and at this time of night I get grumpy and melancholy... should do something positive and sensible like SLEEP
Got added to the army of Calypso's friends list... popular girl, bizarrely enough!? Duh. What the fuck do I care, and I'm all out of man size kleenex, but that's a moot point.
Was gonna post a diatribe about Her, but after 3 months, COME ON, I've got to get over this shit, really I have.
One last cigarette, now my coffee is finished... time to ponder on the fact that someone, somewhere out there is The One, but in the meantime, it's simply that I'm still screwed up, on oh so many fucking levels, and yet still a good guy. So why the fuck doesn't that count for shit?
Craziness over on NDD seems to have left my consciousness, though I wonder wtf happened with the people on there. Can't help think there were people there with serious issues regarding men, plus some kind of power struggle or something. Wasn't a nice experience, didn't help matters that some people chose to come out with some seriously vicious commentaries in public. I guess that's what happens in an unmoderated group for vulnerable people - all hell lets loose the moment all the issues get triggered and mob mentality takes control... march of the sycophants indeed.
But did connect with some good people, some strange (very, very strange) people and some outright vicious and spiteful people. On reflection, again... not so much of a support group, more of a mutual back scratching clique at times. Pity... too many victims unwilling to do anything about their situation except direct their vitriol at others.
Bah, I'm ranting after all. Need that cigarette and sleep, SERIOUSLY