nexttuesday

I suppose it's about time I update

As I'm sure you could tell from my last couple posts, things got pretty stressful for a couple months there. While we were never hurting financially (thanks to my amazing bookkeeping skills), we were hurting emotionally. I was devastated at losing my dream of being a stay at home Mom. Subby and I had worked very hard to make it possible for me to stay home and while we knew there was always a possibility that he could lose his job one day, we never imagined it would happen so shortly after me leaving my job. It hurt. Being a stay at home Mom was quite literally my life long dream. It was really hard for me to come to terms with having it taken away from me.

While I was trying to deal with that, Subby was fighting his own battle of feeling like a failure and feeling like he let me down. It was hard for him to lose a job he had had for 8 years and for no good reason other than the company was doing a mass lay off and he made more than the new guy. He never failed us though or let me down. It wasn't his fault his company sucked ass. Plus he started hitting the job market hard, right away.

In the meantime, I decided it would be best for me to go back to work. I was miserable about it, but I felt God's hand pushing me, so I let go and did it. I was offered my job back with a very nice promotion and pay increase. Turns out I really like my new position and I'm learning lots of new stuff, I love to learn. Subby also found a job, doing geeky computer stuff I don't understand. While it was a pay cut, it has a lot of perks....being closer to home, set hours, weekends off, surrounded by other geeks, ping pong table and a ps3 in the break room, and free classes to get geeky certifications that I don't understand.

My biggest worry was putting Olivia in daycare. I was afraid of her not getting the love & affection she craves and I was scared she'd hate it. Turns out she loves it She does cry for a few minutes when Daddy drops her off, but then she plays with her little friends all day. The workers truly seem to love her and don't just leave her crying in a crib. There have been several times I've shown up way earlier than I told them I would and every time I have, the workers are either playing with her on the floor, holding her on their hips, or she's laughing her ass off while playing with her friends. This has set my mind at ease. The only downsides are 1. it's soooo fucking expensive because we put her in a REALLY nice daycare and 2. she's on her 2nd cold in 3 weeks. I know it's good to build up her immune system, but it's a pita cuz she gets an ear infection every time she gets a cold.

So all in all, life is on it's way back up. We're getting adjusted to our new path in life and we're working towards building up a large savings so I can be a stay at home Mom again one day....which I don't plan on doing till I have another kid.

Oh, before I go, to those of you who made a point to give me words of encouragement or just let me vent without judging me, I really appreciate it. You kept me sane and I love you for it.