nexttuesday

I had a very bad dream last night that Subby cheated on me with a chatter. It was very vivid and realistic. I woke up crying and was still very upset even after I was fully awake. I lay in bed for awhile creepily staring at him, thinking about how much I love him, how much I love him, how I wish I could show him how much he means to me. I'm very lucky to have him in my life and it would devastate me if I lost him. I mean this quite literally, I truly think it would be the end of me if he wasn't in my life. Not that I'd get all suicidal, just that I wouldn't have any hope left.

On a totally different note, Grampa isn't doing so well. Well he really hasnt been for months now. He had a really bad stroke before my Gramma passed away and he never recovered fully. He is pretty set on dying since Gramma passed. It took the will to live right out of him. My family put him in hospice care a couple weeks ago, so at least he can be well cared for and as comfortable as he can be before he dies. It's so sad. I love him so much, but I get it ya know? He lived a very happy life and he just wants to be with his wife ya know? This last week his health is plummeting steadily downward. I'm basically just waiting for The Call.

Life treats of so cruelly, but we must never lose sight of all the happiness and love it gives us.