I don't know why I had no clue that I would be bawling last night. It seriously just didn't even cross my mind. Like I knew my closest friends were comin to say goodbye to me. I knew that pretty soon they aren't gonna be able to rescue me when I'm falling to pieces. But I just didn't even think about the fact tears would be runnin.
I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life.
I was fine until Lil Dude and Andy told me they were gonna head out. I was fine when other ppl left cuz I know I'll see them again before I go. But I know I'm not gonna see Lil Dude and Andy again. Lil Dude gave me such a sad look....I just lost it. He's one of my boys. One of the few people that have held me up through every low point of my life throughout the last 12 years.
My heart just broke. Shattered. I forgot how much I love the people I love. Yes I realize that sounds retarded but I'm sure some of you will understand what I mean. It took them about a half hour to actually leave cuz I couldnt stop fucking crying and they loved me too much to leave me like that. Hell I'm crying all over again as I write this.
After that people started tickering off one by one after that. Each person that left got their fair share of tears. And they cried right back at me. I guess I forgot how loved I am. Every hug broke my heart more. And I'm thinkin to myself....I can't believe I am giving this all up for a guy. All this love. All this friendship. 12 to 16 years I have known and loved these people. I have seen them at their worst and best. They gave me breath when I no longer had the will to live. They cried with joy at my wedding, wept bitter tears with me during my divorce. They fought, laughed, cried, experimented with drugs, got sober, they did everything with me. And here I am....leaving them. Moving 9 hours away. Trading 20 or so amazing people in my life for one guy....One guy that I've been dating for 8 months.
And not for one second did I doubt what I was doing. Yup my heart is breaking but I love this man so much. He's got my heart with 100% faith, trust, and love. Every single friend that cried with me last night was at least somewhat happy to see me go because they know how happy this man has made me.
Derrek, you're my life. I love you so much.
I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life.
I was fine until Lil Dude and Andy told me they were gonna head out. I was fine when other ppl left cuz I know I'll see them again before I go. But I know I'm not gonna see Lil Dude and Andy again. Lil Dude gave me such a sad look....I just lost it. He's one of my boys. One of the few people that have held me up through every low point of my life throughout the last 12 years.
My heart just broke. Shattered. I forgot how much I love the people I love. Yes I realize that sounds retarded but I'm sure some of you will understand what I mean. It took them about a half hour to actually leave cuz I couldnt stop fucking crying and they loved me too much to leave me like that. Hell I'm crying all over again as I write this.
After that people started tickering off one by one after that. Each person that left got their fair share of tears. And they cried right back at me. I guess I forgot how loved I am. Every hug broke my heart more. And I'm thinkin to myself....I can't believe I am giving this all up for a guy. All this love. All this friendship. 12 to 16 years I have known and loved these people. I have seen them at their worst and best. They gave me breath when I no longer had the will to live. They cried with joy at my wedding, wept bitter tears with me during my divorce. They fought, laughed, cried, experimented with drugs, got sober, they did everything with me. And here I am....leaving them. Moving 9 hours away. Trading 20 or so amazing people in my life for one guy....One guy that I've been dating for 8 months.
And not for one second did I doubt what I was doing. Yup my heart is breaking but I love this man so much. He's got my heart with 100% faith, trust, and love. Every single friend that cried with me last night was at least somewhat happy to see me go because they know how happy this man has made me.
Derrek, you're my life. I love you so much.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
lilcupcake:
awwww hun *hugs* 
josephadam01:
Im so sorry i couldnt come...ended up working this weekend...im so broke i had to hun...my absence is no way indicative of my love for you...it was merely my need to have money to put food in my stomach...i love you