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nex_flamma

Portland

Member Since 2003

Followers 20 Following 23

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Friday Jul 25, 2003

Jul 25, 2003
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Early this morning, Jimmy Wilkins, a 9th grader at a local high school, was eaten by a bear. The police are leaning toward suicide as Jimmy had recently been very depressed, but they haven't ruled out the notion that this was a homocide plot masterminded by the bear (known from here on out as Mr X). Mr X had a string of arrests in the early 80's due to his cocaine addiction and a small empire he had set up for himself smuggling blow from Cuba.
Jimmy is remembered by his two parents, Lee and Tori, and his younger sister Beatrice. A memorial service will be held at Great Oaks mausoleum on Thursday afternoon, with a reception to follow. After this, there will be a solemn 5k jog, which, as per tradition, will be followed by the solemn creation of the funerary balloon animals.
Guests are expected to RSVP, and if possible, bring a donation for the "Jimmy Wilkins' Save Children From Cokehead Bears" fund.
Thank you for all your kind wishes in this trying time.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
demigauge:
merf
Jul 27, 2003
cheshire:
eaten by a bear... wow... gorey
Jul 27, 2003

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