newspectre

I need to just vent about myself for a little while. I've been having a "crisis of future" all day, and it's really starting to get to me. I'm just, I guess, afraid that I'll get lost here in the real world. That I'll never get back to college and back on the path I was on.

I guess I should give a little bit of history. All through high school I flip flopped between my drive to serve my country, like my father, and his father, and his father, etc. as far back as my family knows, and my desire to go to college and make something of myself, like none of them did. They all joined the military after high school, and ended up either staying in until retirement, or getting out and going into various odd jobs until settling into mundane blue collar careers. So when I graduated high school I went to college. I did 1 glorious year, before I came to the realization that I couldn't afford college on my own, and that my parents were in no situation to help me, and for various different reasons I was innelligable for every kind of grant and loan I needed to stay in college. So I did the inevitable and joined the military.

It's now a year later, and I'm looking at 3 more years of this. And I'm just deathly afraid that I will follow in the footsteps of the men in my family. That I will end up getting married, settleing down, and never going back to college. Never getting back to my beloved Texas A&M.