newpain

This movie is the reason I simultaneously love and hate women completely.

And I'll be 100% honest with myself. This movie really kicked up some feelings for She Who Shall Not Be Named... (Hanna, haha). If they were to make a movie about our relationship it would play a lot like this movie, without the happy ending (although I'd like to hope my love life isn't over). Also, no sex... and more teasing.

I set myself up for it really... she was/is immature emotionally in contrast to how mature she can be (school, work, etc).

I don't know why I bother or why it still bothers me. Maybe it's the fact I'm not meeting anyone down here because I'm working 12-15 hour days. I'm also dieting = no drinking. Maybe its the fact that its completely unfair what she did to me and that still makes me mad. In reality... its the lack of intimacy. I'm not over it because I need someone or something to be totally enthralled with. It's why I dive into work and cars and music so passionately... I need an outlet for that.

I know most advice is that I need to let go of her or just not try and it'll happen. Is it sad that I'm 23 years old and that I'm afraid if I let go I'll never find anyone? My love life has had a very stunted life span. My first kiss was in college, first time having sex I was 19 (and it was sex, not passion) and the first time my heart was into anything she completely tore it apart. (Plus she still pokes her head every once and a while to make the stitches haven't quite healed yet.)

"Coming back just to tear open the stitches once again"

I could write totally bitchin' one line songs.

That would be my emo song. I'd have tons more metal songs, but the sappy ones would be like power ballads.

Haha. I do appreciate my own ability to make myself laugh (There should be a word for that) ((Oral Masturbation?))<--- Haha

I'm 23! I deserve Passion! Adventure! Being Carefree! To hell with responsibility. I just want someone to extend my hand to and say "Lets go on an adventure". I'm like Winnie the Pooh.