Funny how life works sometimes, one opportunity closes while another opens up. Life is a series of checks and balances. Maybe balance will come and put my heart to rest.
I always try to be a good person, someone who people want to be around, but I always encounter obstacles... obstacles that brings out the otherside of me... the wounded me that lashes out. I've held on to that side of me for so long that I almost have to wonder is that the real me??? I want to say no, but I don't know anymore. Why have I held on to it for so long? What am I defending myself against? I want to be held and told that it's going to be ok, to just let it go. Maybe someone will understand me enough to know what I'm letting go.
Random Jorge Fact: The two people I need the most right now are in relationships, so they feel they're a thousand miles away even though they're only a phone call away. But I find myself just hanging up and not wanting to bother anyone.
I always try to be a good person, someone who people want to be around, but I always encounter obstacles... obstacles that brings out the otherside of me... the wounded me that lashes out. I've held on to that side of me for so long that I almost have to wonder is that the real me??? I want to say no, but I don't know anymore. Why have I held on to it for so long? What am I defending myself against? I want to be held and told that it's going to be ok, to just let it go. Maybe someone will understand me enough to know what I'm letting go.
Random Jorge Fact: The two people I need the most right now are in relationships, so they feel they're a thousand miles away even though they're only a phone call away. But I find myself just hanging up and not wanting to bother anyone.
I have tried the drinking myself to sleep thing. Doesn't really work for me. If I drink enough I pass out but am still tired when I wake up.
Random Squee fact:
The two people I love and need most are in love with each other, but, circumstances keep them apart. As a result they both seem to have grown apart from me as well. I think because i remind both of them of the other.