nevabelle

yesterday
this boy
peter
who i see around school sometimes, we say hi usually
sent his roommate up to my room
with a secret admirer note
full with a cheesy (on accident) rhyming love poem
and a place for me to meet my 'secret admirer at 9pm'

after scouring facebook to find out who might have sent this, i was still left answerless. my roommate called me at 830 when she found out who it was, which probably saved my life.

i walked out to the quad with like 4 other people
and he walked up alone, with a rose in his hand
and asked me out to dinner tonight
and told me about how hes liked me since the begining of the year


i couldnt say no, it was such a gutsy gesture
i did tell him that while i would go out to dinner with him, it didnt mean that i necessarly liked him or didnt.

i think ill probably just say something along the lines of "i'm in a permanent state of altered reality. i shouldnt be making decisions that affect only me, let alone someone not deserving chaos. i dont know what i want, and im not going to get involed with anyone else until i can legitimately identify that"


not to mention im already pseudo involved with too many people already.

getting roses and taken out to dinner shouldnt be so difficult. at all.




(add in the fact i havent slept since saturday night, havent really eaten anything since sunday night, my pupils wont return to not dialated, and when i am not concentratingn on an image, i see trippy visuals, this is not a good time for a girl-crisis.)


<3alfie.