nevaar

today is the first day of the rest of your life.

ive heard that before. imagined it on a souless inspirational poster on the wall of a highschool. maybe on the wall of the basement where your AA meets. whatever. this professor, hippie scumbag, says that to me today. he thinks i should take control of my life. at least thats what he was getting at. no, i didnt do my final paper. he saw thru my excuse. perhaps i didnt lie well enough. i didnt try very hard. my best efforts are always in vain the same as every half assed lackluster attempt. why bother with such formalities? ill still get an A in the class. maybe a B. i dont care. im smarter, richer, younger, and better looking than this guy. hes the one that needs to take control. i did exactly what i wanted to do last night. i sat in my dim room with beer. i let the night pass by. drift. and slide right into similar dreams. you are right. today is the first day of the rest of my life. well. maybe ill kill myself just to spite him. just to prove him wrong. these people. their lives dont mean anything. I make a difference in the world. Last week i broke a kids jaw. he had it coming. but now he and i know who the better man is. see? i make a difference.