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neuroticanne

The ghetto land

Member Since 2004

Followers 76 Following 67

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Friday Jul 22, 2005

Jul 21, 2005
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If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?


Feel free to answer any or all of the above. You know you want to wink
*********************************************************************



Monday-Thursday of this past week was spent with me being in a sad, fucked up mood...Well, today is a new day. Today I'm happy. And this upcoming week is going to rock hard. I'll make sure of that.

This morning I have an appointment to look at an apartment and I'm going to school and make sure that everything is settled for fall.

The cd exchange party is tomm and my computer has stopped burning cd's...grrrr. And I don't have a way home from the party. I can get there, but not back.

It's all good, baby....it's all good. miao!!

SmileyAmI,
*NA biggrin *

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
bonezman:
So??? How as the apartment? Is the financial aide department in one piece? How are you holding up?

Where did I put that Pepsi? wink
Jul 22, 2005
lightbulbjack:
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
Only if its dead

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Aborted fetuses of course.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
The dark master himself, Satan.

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
You can stick that white cane out the window and get a pretty good idea where they're driving.

How did a fool and his money GET together?
He was born a republican.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Squirrel enforcers. Any deer caught jay walking is made an example of.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Oh shit, you mean we cant do that?

What's another word for thesaurus?
Smart-ass

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
It gives the poor sucker the illusion that people still care.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Butter

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
Because it there wasnt one day you would go and eat some and your head would implode from the sourness.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
When octopuses stop showing up with candy and flowers.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
You have stumped me on this one.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?
It does when I rub my nuts on it.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
But of course

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
For the same reason they call a pair of panties, it gives the impression that youre getting more of a good thing.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
I was never good at science.

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Thats a common misconception. If you want to kill a mime and get off scott free heres what you do: lock them in an invisible airtight box. When they suffocate everyone just assumes it was a tragic accident.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Pulled Pork
ooo aaa
Jul 22, 2005

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