nessieoutlaw

Life fuckin sucks. I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it.

but no matter how hard i try to stay up something keeps knocking me down.
this weeks disaster: My Best friend of 8 years thought it would be a great idea to date my ex-boyfriend. what else is new, she's done it before, her only 2 boyfriends were both my ex's. well this time it's with one of my ex's that used to be my best friend. So yesterday she walks into target (where i work) and she's wearing his dogtags. It really fuckin got to me, like big time! In the 2 years we were together, he never gave me his dog tags. he just told me "my sister has them, and anthony has the other ones" So i never thought anything of it because that was his best friend and his sister. I am Completely over him but WTF??!?! they've been together for a fuckin week and she's got his dog tags. i don't even know how...he's stationed in Ft. Campbell Kentucky. So somethings going on that i'm not aware of here... ugh.

Besides trying to fight the lonelyness and officially not having a best friend, i hate school. Hate, hate, hate it.
And i can't talk to anyone about everything i'm fuckin stressing out about because my one and only friend just made everything weird between us. So know i have loads of garbage that's just being bottled up and i'm going to go nuts. on top of that i finally met a guy i really like and guess what, he's moving to salinas! Nessie doesn't do long distance relationships, it always ends in heartbreak for me. i'm not strong enough mentally for long distance, i've tried it with every boyfriend i've ever had.



and last but not least, i have this song stuck in my head.








i just can't stand being myself right now. i feel unloved, forgotten, unspecial, and ugly.



-Ness