i had this crazy dream last night.
first, at some point in the dream i had to go to india. but i don't remember why, and i don't remember what i did when i was there, but i remember thinking, "wow, i'm in india." but anyway, that wasn't the crazy part of the dream.
frequently, i have dreams where i'm pregnant and i'm going shopping for little baby clothes and cribs and those kind of things. everybody's happy and excited and chris and i are closer than we have ever been because we're about to have a baby. but, i always wake up before i give birth, i'm just so huge i'm ready to burst. well, last night i started the dream giving birth. i almost FELT the baby coming through my birth canal. everybody i have ever known was in the room, but i don't remember seeing anybody...not even chris. anyway, i was taking care of my little baby, and i strongly remember it being extremely tiny...and i don't remember if it was a boy or a girl, it was just a BABY. well, something happened where i decided to give it a bath, but i just left it in a bucket of water with my mom and then i went on the couch and i "fell asleep" in my dream. well, when i "woke up" in my dream, my baby had turned into a clown doll because i had "killed" it by leaving it in the bucket of water where it "drowned"...but it was a doll! a clown doll!! anyway, i ran downstairs screaming, but not really crying and all chris said was, "well, now we'll always remember this day." and then i ran to my mom and she was just like, "oh well, you should have been more careful. but you can always have another one."
that was my dream. and now i feel all weird, like, now i want a baby really bad, but i don't want to fucking kill it.
first, at some point in the dream i had to go to india. but i don't remember why, and i don't remember what i did when i was there, but i remember thinking, "wow, i'm in india." but anyway, that wasn't the crazy part of the dream.
frequently, i have dreams where i'm pregnant and i'm going shopping for little baby clothes and cribs and those kind of things. everybody's happy and excited and chris and i are closer than we have ever been because we're about to have a baby. but, i always wake up before i give birth, i'm just so huge i'm ready to burst. well, last night i started the dream giving birth. i almost FELT the baby coming through my birth canal. everybody i have ever known was in the room, but i don't remember seeing anybody...not even chris. anyway, i was taking care of my little baby, and i strongly remember it being extremely tiny...and i don't remember if it was a boy or a girl, it was just a BABY. well, something happened where i decided to give it a bath, but i just left it in a bucket of water with my mom and then i went on the couch and i "fell asleep" in my dream. well, when i "woke up" in my dream, my baby had turned into a clown doll because i had "killed" it by leaving it in the bucket of water where it "drowned"...but it was a doll! a clown doll!! anyway, i ran downstairs screaming, but not really crying and all chris said was, "well, now we'll always remember this day." and then i ran to my mom and she was just like, "oh well, you should have been more careful. but you can always have another one."
that was my dream. and now i feel all weird, like, now i want a baby really bad, but i don't want to fucking kill it.