Hey guys! Thank you all for supporting my new set! Unfortunately this is one of my last sets. I'm grateful with all my heart to the site for making me who I am, but now, during a time of great changes on the site, I no longer feel at home here. SG and development on it were my general ideas for several years. I put a lot of effort into the sets, traveled to other cities, bought costumes and unsuccessfully tried to become "someone" here. But every time I met the cold in response, my enthusiasm melted.
I named this set after one of my favorite Queen songs. Freddie Mercury sings: "Love of my life, you've hurt me. You've broken my heart, and now you leave me...". Unrequited love. This is what comes to mind as I scroll through my entire history on this site in my head.
SG trends are changing and I'm already "out of fashion". Too tattooed and informal lol. I also don’t live in America and don't have the opportunity to collab with models and be in an active SG party.
Life is too fleeting, and our age is short, so it is a crime against life to waste your time on something that is not reciprocated. Without it, the balance is disturbed, and without balance, life will become a torment. It's a vicious circle.
I made myself. I have cultivated a personality that I admire and that makes me respect and pride. I went through hell: war, loss of sources of income, deaths and complete despair and horror of a future that doesn't exist. Last year I suffered from alcoholism and planned suicide, and the site that I considered my mental refuge only drove me more and more into the abyss of despair.
This spring took my dog to the rainbow. My Era. After that, everything became so insignificant.
I lived for her. For her sake, I refused to move to other countries. If she cannot leave the fucking RF, I will stay with her. To end. It could not be otherwise, because the awareness of the day lived without her presence next to me is absolutely stupid and meaningless. Together until the end.
New tattoo on my face is my date of birth and hers. I did it on her last day. This tattoo seemed to capture her last moments of life.
She had ascites (a buildup of fluid in her abdomen due to poor heart function) and became worse. Life has become a burden to her, which means that my life has lost its meaning. I loved her (and will love forever) more than anything in this fucking world and I would never let her suffer.
I believe that the owner should be responsible for all aspects of the life of his pet, even for such terrible ones as his death. I don't understand people who take their animals to the clinic for euthanasia or leave the room when the animal falls asleep and goes to the rainbow. This is his last moment, which is very important to share with him, even despite the unbearable pain. Era fell asleep on my lap. I saw her last breath. I felt her body soften. This is the worst, but at the same time the most beautiful moment of my life. She and I sat like that for half an hour and waited for the person who would take her body for cremation. I kissed and stroked her, trying to remember her even better.
I needed to make sure that she really was cremated in a separate oven, and not in a common one ... so I had to see a photo of her body lying on the dirty floor of a dirty oven. The love of my life lay there, lifeless.
So I found salvation in work. I make videos and I have a future in porn industry. I have amazing people who are ready to share it with me. And that's what keeps me from going crazy.
Maybe in the future I will shoot new sets, but right now I have too few resources and I must spend them wisely and direct them to what will allow me to live this life the way I want and have what I deserve. And I deserve a lot.
There are a lot of people on the site that I love and who I want to stay in touch with, so this page will be my life blog where I will share my life with those who are interested.
Send you all my love my friends❤️
This is our last photo❤️🩹
@missy @penny @lust @eirenne
