nephthys

Ever had one of those days where your entire life gets all whimbley bimbley? Take today for example. For starters, working an inconsistant schedule and a large amount of graveyard shifts, my sleeping pattern is destroyed and I cannot get to sleep before four in the morning... so, This morning I was lazing in bed debating whether or not to get up or sleep some more before I had to go to work at 3... and then the phone rings. (Usually indicative of something BAD ESPECIALLY when the call is before noon). Turns out someone dropped out of the program I applied for, and the head of the department picked me (of all people) as first choice to fill the position. So in my half sleeping banter I'm so confused and conflicted.. I could not give the registrar an answer.... so she tells me that I dont need to make the decision right now, as she understands that I must have other commitments and need to see what i can arrange. So, the lady gives me ONE hour.ONE HOUR!!! and i was to call her back with my decision. holy fuck!!! so I quickly talk to my parents (and my relatives who were conveniently in town this morning) to see what they think i should do. All signs point to go,BUT now what about my job? I dont want to completely fuck them over... cuz i'm just not that kind of person. But this is my life ahead of me... can i really afford to put it on hold for another year or two(depending on the wait list that i've already BEEN on?) maybe two? just for a semi-full time job that I am only slightly embarassed of? So I race down to 711 to tell my boss about my crisis situation... and they look at me like i'm a huge heinous disappointing bitch.... like I'mCRAZY for putting my education ahead of my "future" with a winning career at 711.
And on top of that... they guilt tripped me... several times. Because apparently theres NO ONE to fill my schedule.. and they have no clue what they're gonna do *IF* i decide to go. She acted like I'd PLANNED this WHOLE THING. cuz CLEARLY I'm the type of person to do that.
Well anyways. After about five minutes of awkward guilt filled silence I decided that since the clock was still ticking, i couldnt afford to just stand there and feel like shit. So I drove home... told my family what happened at work and said "I'm goin to school" and I phoned the lady back. I start on Wednesday. I've only missed about a week and the prof is more than willing to go out of his way to help me catch up. I'm so stoked. I can't wait. I'm terrified but completely giggly like a little school girl. Life's forced me into a new chapter of my life and I couldn't be more happy and appreciative.
I've had such an emotional rollercoaster of a day. Its beautiful! I had almost forgotten how it feels to HAVE these emotions...or any for that mtter.
Anyways, I have to pack some stuff up as I'm going to be a semi-permanent resident of Regina as of tomorrow afternoon. The commute is gonna be hell.
Anyways, wish me luck in my new endevour.
Blessed be!


~*N*~