Just rolled in from the thriving metropolis of Otsego, Egypt.
Wedding was a blast, as it should've been. Before making our way to the reception, nudie Phil and I were taking a stab at who would drop the most coin since him and I always pay more at drinking functions then anyone else. All of a sudden we came up with the most brilliant plan two drunk hunyucks could ever devise... who could spend the least amount of money! So we evened out our evening bank rolls before arriving, and then the game began.
Phil was abrasively trying to get cocktails from just about anyone. Myself, I took a more subtle approach and put my charm to work for me. Those dimples got a lot of mileage last night! Phil wound up pissing a lot of people off with his style, so much in fact, that he had to spill the beans of the contest since he'd pissed off so many of our friends. Now for all practicle purposes, the gig is up by the end of the reception.
Many of us decided to meander next door to the adjacent bar. So I roll back into the main hall to grab my suit coat... but it's fucking gone!
Who the fuck would steal my suit coat??? The worst part about it... my cell phone was in my coat! Fuck me rotten, I have business contacts in it, you name it. I'm screwed without my phone. We all walk next door the next whiskey bar...
Now our cover has been blown for a half hour now, no one is buying Phil drinks anymore, but I have an ace up my sleave now. We were at this bar for no more then 45 minutes to an hour, but in that time, I had several sympathy shots and drinks bought for me. Oh yeah, Phil was fucked now if he wanted to drink!
Myself... I left the evening holding on to every single dollar I had when I walked into the reception. Phil, well, he dropped a righteous $10.
Winner... Johnny!
OH! And here's another thing... my pansy ass almost got into a fight!!! This fucking jerk-off kept coming up to me and insulting me to my face. His girlfriend/wife/sister/whatever kept trying to pull him away every time he saw me. I'm down with Gandhi, so I kept turning the other cheek and walking away. What the fuck gets into some people!?!?!?!?!
So I'm home now with no ability to call who I need to...
I'm a winner, yes I know...
I caught the proverbial "kiss of death" garder belt (I have double digits)...
I'm drinking a fucking Guinness to ease the pain of losing my shit...
If you see a guy walking around town with a nice suit coat making long distance calls... take that asshole down!!!
Until I get my phone back... e-mail and IM work the best.
Peace and chicken grease.
UPDATE: phone back in hand... anyone care to emasculate my roomie?
Wedding was a blast, as it should've been. Before making our way to the reception, nudie Phil and I were taking a stab at who would drop the most coin since him and I always pay more at drinking functions then anyone else. All of a sudden we came up with the most brilliant plan two drunk hunyucks could ever devise... who could spend the least amount of money! So we evened out our evening bank rolls before arriving, and then the game began.
Phil was abrasively trying to get cocktails from just about anyone. Myself, I took a more subtle approach and put my charm to work for me. Those dimples got a lot of mileage last night! Phil wound up pissing a lot of people off with his style, so much in fact, that he had to spill the beans of the contest since he'd pissed off so many of our friends. Now for all practicle purposes, the gig is up by the end of the reception.
Many of us decided to meander next door to the adjacent bar. So I roll back into the main hall to grab my suit coat... but it's fucking gone!
Who the fuck would steal my suit coat??? The worst part about it... my cell phone was in my coat! Fuck me rotten, I have business contacts in it, you name it. I'm screwed without my phone. We all walk next door the next whiskey bar...
Now our cover has been blown for a half hour now, no one is buying Phil drinks anymore, but I have an ace up my sleave now. We were at this bar for no more then 45 minutes to an hour, but in that time, I had several sympathy shots and drinks bought for me. Oh yeah, Phil was fucked now if he wanted to drink!
Myself... I left the evening holding on to every single dollar I had when I walked into the reception. Phil, well, he dropped a righteous $10.
Winner... Johnny!
OH! And here's another thing... my pansy ass almost got into a fight!!! This fucking jerk-off kept coming up to me and insulting me to my face. His girlfriend/wife/sister/whatever kept trying to pull him away every time he saw me. I'm down with Gandhi, so I kept turning the other cheek and walking away. What the fuck gets into some people!?!?!?!?!
So I'm home now with no ability to call who I need to...
I'm a winner, yes I know...
I caught the proverbial "kiss of death" garder belt (I have double digits)...
I'm drinking a fucking Guinness to ease the pain of losing my shit...
If you see a guy walking around town with a nice suit coat making long distance calls... take that asshole down!!!
Until I get my phone back... e-mail and IM work the best.
Peace and chicken grease.
UPDATE: phone back in hand... anyone care to emasculate my roomie?
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
hope you fucks had fun,
enjoy your hangover.