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nemisis

Member Since 2004

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Saturday Apr 16, 2005

Apr 15, 2005
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Posted on: 04-16-05 05:21 AM

Dynamic fast growing company now accepting applications.

A great and wonderful company is now accepting applications for the following position(s): Industrial material/handler person. This is a full time position

Successful candidate must possess the following skills/experience:

Must have PhD., MD, or equivalent.

Must be able to lift a minimum of 125lbs/68kilos

Must be willing to clean the toilets.

Must have 700 years of verifiable experience as an Industrial material/handler guy

Must be willing to work 20.5 hours per day on a rotating shift and mandatory overtime

Must be proficient with every software known to man, and type 100wpm w/o error

Must be able to pass extensive background check including polygraph, UA drug test

Must have a valid driver license with all CDL endorsement

Must be able to fly multi engine jet airplanes with commercial license

Must be able to run 2 miles in under 9 minutes

Must be a positive team player with a great outlook on life!

benefit program:

This highly successful company is offering the following competitive package to qualified applicants:

Pay scale: starting wage: minimum legally required + a raise every 90 years

vacation: take vacation, get fired!

medical: If you get sick, your fu*@ed!

Sure this is an exaggeration, but you get the point.

Really, what is it with these companies?! is this really what the economy has been reduced to? (I dont think so, I think that its an illusion) If so, these corporations are loving it! Great times when you can have a Jet pilot drive your taxi, isnt it? To get a job flippin burgers you have to be a qualified engineer nowadays. How the hell did this happen? I think everyone should commit to spending some amount of time responding to these job adds with their contempt. I do it every once in a while when Im bored and its fukin hilarious! I put down my real contact info and all, in hopes that I get a phone call so I can tell someone in person how I feel about the great job their offering.
addae:
That I can understand.
Apr 16, 2005

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