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nellichaos

CBUS

Member Since 2004

Followers 196 Following 164

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Monday Nov 22, 2004

Nov 22, 2004
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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
by Jack Handy


okay....so i don't really drink beer, but that just made me rad happy to read it...and i don't know why.

i am riding one hell of an emotional rollercoaster right now.
after much discussing with many people, i have decided that i will go to support L3FT at their show on Wednesday...yes, that is right...i will go and watch my recent ex be all sexy and rock star and no longer mine. this is a really really important show for them though and i was friends with the guys in the band for like a year and a half before he even joined. it was shitty of him to dump me, but it would be shittier for me to dump them...especially when they need a good crowd. i am pretty sure that it will end in sadness....hopefully a little on his end as well as mine. i talked to him a little bit today....(because i'm fucking stupid) to tell him that i was going to the show after all. he told me that he won $120 at a football pool at work.....good stuff....what ever....

i don't even know if i want him back or not....i just know that i hate this feeling more than i've hated anything in a long long while.

we were supposed to go to the castle for his birthday...i don't really want to go anymore, but i feel totally bad because four other people are effected if i don't go. one of my friends probably would have gone along, but i talked with him today and he said that he thinks he'll have to work, plus he is starting to see someone and doens't htink that he wants to mess it up....and i don't blame him at all...i wish things hadn't gotten messed up in my relationship.

my mom, bless her heart, brought me a book home today. she is a high school teacher and got it at the library. it is called "getting dumped and getting over it" i am still not sure how i should feel about it......blah!


chin up, right? puke
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
dahmer:
I'm gonna have to change my profile pic. Too many people are giving me nice comments on it. tongue

There isnt anything wrong with wishing you have one more chance to violate the old boy friend. One last date, one last kiss, one last hop in the sac! tongue

Damn, you've got more guts than I do to be going to that show after breaking up with the boyfriend. After I break up with some one, I do every thing in my power to have ZERO contact with them. Good luck. I hope its more fun than sadness. smile
Nov 24, 2004
ldwarren:
Sorry I havent commented on your last couple of journals but I have read them and I think you are coping really well.

I guess whats meant to be is meant to be eh?
kiss
Nov 24, 2004

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