nellichaos

so i'm feeling like a pretty crappy daughter right now.....i missed mothers day because i was in virginia with ryan to celebrate mike davis' college graduation. right now, i am at work and missing fathers day, but rather than doing it yesterday, i was with ryan and her family for her sister's wedding.......i mean, my mom is on summer vacation from work and my dad is retired so i can actually go see them any time that i want to AND i don't really feel obligated to celebrate holidays constructed or at least overtaken by greeting card companys to make money off of peoples guilt, but that's another story all together. the point is---i am feeling guilt. i know that my parents really don't care and if they did they'd never say anything but at the same time i feel like as an only child i really ought to be there. whatever...i effing suck, i guess.

coincidentally, i am also a terrible manager as i have been sort of chilling on the office here for about half an hour as my employees likely fuck up whatever meanial task they should be able to perform without my supervision.

this weekend has been stressful. ryan is totally flattened by her family. they either don't know about any of the trans stuff or they don't understand. she's done everything to bend over backwards to not offend anyone but made herself miserable in the process. it's really sad to see a situation of people who obviously love their child so much but can't see her clearly enough to accept who she is and what she really loves.
generally though, her family was pretty amazing. everyone was super nice to me, which always makes things easier. i have a pretty sweet picture of us but since i haven't had a chance to be home it's not on here....i'll probably post it later.

i guess i should probably go do some work, eh?