nelecaster

I was driving to work today when i had to stop at some red lights, i looked up and the sky was sooo weird: The clouds didn't move at all and were like big puff balls. It reminded me of a theatre set or something...being that i was on my way to collect my prescription did make me feel a little nervous

My keloids nearly gone *YAY*

I've been a little down the last few days for kind of a shitty reason: I've been on medication since christmas for pretty severe panic attacks. they kinda left me in a heap for a day or two at a time, unable to do any thing, pale, sweaty and nauseaous. It was kind of made worse by being away on tour all the time and eventually led to me quiting the band i was in. It came to a head at my grand mothers funeral where i was close to blacking out and throwing up every where, i kept nearly fainting at the wake and eventually had some form of crying breakdown at home later on. Anyway violins away, i tried to get over everything by going t the dr's and talking it through etc and i was put on meds for panic attacks..i was scared i'd be a zombie and for the first week or 2 i was but since then they have been reallyt beneficial in reducing both the symptoms and the attacks...however, and this is the reason i'm down...they make me retain fluid and gain weight...normally this might be ok but: Last year/ the year before, i lost nigh on seven stone through diet controll and excersise and got my self really fit so putting on weight is kind of utterly soul destroying..

so im really trying to stay sane.

Oh my god, im so sorry i just gushed out everything.. sorry

otherwise today is loverly

oh yeah check out my demos Chin music