25 things i lied to you about................
1. He did not hang the moon, but understands if you want to think otherwise.
2. used to work crayola naming crayons...then they found out i was color blind and sectioned 8 my ass right out of there!!!
3. I was pulled over and givin a ticket for being awesome!
4. the bourne identity, supremacy, ultimatum movies were based loosely on my life as a spy.
5. I was supposed to play Edward Cullen in the Twilight series but during the auditions this other guy was crying and actin like a baby so i told him he could go in front of me, when i got in there after him they were all like "awwwww......we should have waited one more!"
6. I like lollipops in my mouth and butter in my ass.
7. i have a super power, it's nothing huge but i can just somehow tell when toast is done to perfection.
8. I invented the phone book, people used to ask me how i found phone numbers so fast, I'd tell them "I just write them alphabetically in my book of numbers. (thats what it was almost called)
9. I worked in a sweat shop making shoes from the age of -4 months til i was 15.
10. when its cold my junk does not shrink....it grows arms and hands, then sticks its hands in its arm pits.
11. I have a conjoined twin who tells the future, its stuck to my ribs, like Quato in Total Recall.
12. Im allergic to allergy medicines, everytime I take one, Im fucked for like an hour.
13. I've killed a drifter.......you know the guy from Fast and furious Tokyo Drift? I've said to much already.......
14. Ive been to the moon, it smells like tapioca pudding.
15. one time when i was waiting for a bus at a bus stop ( i know, good place to wait for one huh?) this slow witted knuckle head sat by me and told me his life story....something about chocolates and stupid is as stupid does...it doesnt get stupider than that!
16. discovered that if you push * and # on the phone at the precise moment jupiter and mars align with the sun, the universe implodes.
17. the #17 owes me money, there fore i hate him.
18. Superman tried to save me once, I was like "DUDE!!!!!, get back in your chair, it was just a movie role!"
19. I ran away from home and joined a freak show.....They turned me down after i told them i was there to get my freak on!
20. Big Gulps make me horny.....k.....thats not a lie.
21. I was the first black president of the united states, Obama just has better representation is all.
22. Kanye west told me he thinks he's "not that good".......so I fed into his insecurities and told him "actually Kan! people think you smell like onions and throw up too."
23. I get told I look like a younger, nativer, version of George Clooney.
24. I went to funky town and didnt dance at all.
25. When I want to relax after a long hectic day at work, I come home put on my leotard (i like to call it "my Leo" or "The Tard") and dance to Beyonce's-All the single ladies.
1. He did not hang the moon, but understands if you want to think otherwise.
2. used to work crayola naming crayons...then they found out i was color blind and sectioned 8 my ass right out of there!!!
3. I was pulled over and givin a ticket for being awesome!
4. the bourne identity, supremacy, ultimatum movies were based loosely on my life as a spy.
5. I was supposed to play Edward Cullen in the Twilight series but during the auditions this other guy was crying and actin like a baby so i told him he could go in front of me, when i got in there after him they were all like "awwwww......we should have waited one more!"
6. I like lollipops in my mouth and butter in my ass.
7. i have a super power, it's nothing huge but i can just somehow tell when toast is done to perfection.
8. I invented the phone book, people used to ask me how i found phone numbers so fast, I'd tell them "I just write them alphabetically in my book of numbers. (thats what it was almost called)
9. I worked in a sweat shop making shoes from the age of -4 months til i was 15.
10. when its cold my junk does not shrink....it grows arms and hands, then sticks its hands in its arm pits.
11. I have a conjoined twin who tells the future, its stuck to my ribs, like Quato in Total Recall.
12. Im allergic to allergy medicines, everytime I take one, Im fucked for like an hour.
13. I've killed a drifter.......you know the guy from Fast and furious Tokyo Drift? I've said to much already.......
14. Ive been to the moon, it smells like tapioca pudding.
15. one time when i was waiting for a bus at a bus stop ( i know, good place to wait for one huh?) this slow witted knuckle head sat by me and told me his life story....something about chocolates and stupid is as stupid does...it doesnt get stupider than that!
16. discovered that if you push * and # on the phone at the precise moment jupiter and mars align with the sun, the universe implodes.
17. the #17 owes me money, there fore i hate him.
18. Superman tried to save me once, I was like "DUDE!!!!!, get back in your chair, it was just a movie role!"
19. I ran away from home and joined a freak show.....They turned me down after i told them i was there to get my freak on!
20. Big Gulps make me horny.....k.....thats not a lie.
21. I was the first black president of the united states, Obama just has better representation is all.
22. Kanye west told me he thinks he's "not that good".......so I fed into his insecurities and told him "actually Kan! people think you smell like onions and throw up too."
23. I get told I look like a younger, nativer, version of George Clooney.
24. I went to funky town and didnt dance at all.
25. When I want to relax after a long hectic day at work, I come home put on my leotard (i like to call it "my Leo" or "The Tard") and dance to Beyonce's-All the single ladies.
amelinda:
your lies are awesome, and if any (hopefully all of the) were true, id marry you right now
nekkidedge:
why not, im in. lol