I wanted to get a few things off my chest...
A year ago yesterday, I was made redundant from my own business (yes that can happen). A business I worked tirelessly and bled for and in the end was booted out for speaking up against the shit going on there. That hurt.
Soon after that I lost my major freelance graphic design client as they decided to take their work "in-house".
12 months later, MY cafe is doing ok, but those 12 months have been incredibly difficult. Many of you know I work 7 days a week. A 4.30-5am wake-up every day for almost a year (yes there as been the odd day off, but you can count them on one hand) starts to grind after a while. Add onto that, I don't get paid. My staff get paid, but I don't. The cafe covers costs (just), but not enough to pay me a wage.
So how do I live? I work more. I created a coffee body scrub from within the cafe. I made the cafe, gallery space, which is now booked out until April 2016. And I do any graphic design work I can find at night. But it is nowhere near what I need to pay off a house I started planning 3 years ago and now have mortgages on hold.
I went through a period early on where I sold a lot of stuff, includng my camera to pay rent on the cafe. That hurt, but then I’ve been in situations like that before and selling material possessions does not bother me too much. There will come a time when I am flush again and I’ll get a new camera.
This isn't a woe little me post. I'm getting to it!
I have spent a year not speaking to a lot of my friends and family. Partly because most days I am exhausted and partly because I am so embarrassed by my situation. Most days I just want to come home and hide. "How could I let myself get into this situation?"
I know who my friends are and I have not forgotten them. I hold them dear to my heart and hope that when I get my shit together they will still be there.
