negative

I did a terrible thing last night. Something I am not proud of. No, that is not strong enough, I am downright ashamed of what I have done.

I had retired in front of the TV to watch right-wing pundit Curt Schilling deliver earned runs to the worst team in Baseball, when it occured to me to partake of one of the delicious Jello brand pudding snacks my girlfriend had recently stocked our refrigerator with. Upon redepositing myself on the couch after retrieving said tasty treat, I noticed that an open package of Oreos was lying vulnerable on the bottom level of our coffee table.

"Dare I?" I thought to myself. Rational thought would not last long however and before I knew it I had abandoned all notion of decency and restraint. I dipped cookie after cookie into my three-tiered chocolate pudding cup. Poor S**** watched stunned and helpless as I gorged myself on a combination of sugary sweets not intended for our mortal palattes.

When the whole sordid affair was over I found both my soul and my stomach aching. Not one to indulge in such sprees, I did not have the intestinal fortitude to weather the remorse.

I urge those of you readng this to pay all due caution to my tale. Tempation may be powerful, but I beg you to remember the adage "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the conscience".

Thank you















P.S. If I ever find myself in the same position, I'll do it again in a heartbeat