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My girlfriend is laughing at me because I am wearing a skate helmet and Target brand glow-in-the-dark skeleton gloves. I said "what's so funny?", to which she replied "You're wearing a helmet and gloves". I said "Would it be so hilarious without the gloves?". She said no.

Here's a fun game that none of you will play. One of these statements about me is false. You guess which one. (Yeah, it was part of that obnoxious tagging stuff going around)

A) I have never said the word "Dude" out loud
B) I was an accomplished shoplifter in my youth
C) I have a pair of underpants with my name on them
D) I have been on The Price Is Right

The first person to guess the right answer gets absolutely nothing. (Except one step closer to my mortal soul)

Thank you