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neesy

Virginia Beach

Member Since 2009

Followers 97 Following 66

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Saturday Mar 17, 2012

Mar 17, 2012
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Happy Saint Patty's Day to all. Even though technically in my time zone it's already over. But since my Patty's Day didn't amount to much, I'm continuing it until I go to sleep. I guess it's just a sign of getting older and more mature that instead of going out to the pub crawls and getting hammered on Jameson shots with a side of Guiness, I spent the afternoon with my man and his family. Then continued on to visiting someone in the hospital. There was one beer involved in my shenanigans, the lonely Yeungling I nursed for about two hours. Ya know, can't drink too much around the significant other's family lest you say something stupid.

So now, we're back at the house, he's snug and sleeping, and I'm drinking a beer chased with a shot of whiskey. Or is it the other way around? Ah, fuck it, details. All I'm really trying to say is that this St. Patty's Day kinda sucked. No Irish car bombs. No Jameson. Fuck, not even Bailey's. Mostly because I was too lazy to go to the liquor store earlier in the week, so therefore, I'm deprived.

But on to bigger and better things. I'm still learning so much about relationships. After being with the ex for two and a half years, I'm finally slowly becoming un-warped. Learning how to trust and love again has been so intensely.... intense. Long story short, I ended up now back with the same guy I left for "the ex". A man that I had sought after for over a year, then finally had but too many other factors weighed in, and I left for "the ex". We somehow found our way back to each other, which I never in my life expected, I figured we would avoid each other like the fucking plague until we were old and gray. But we didn't. Instead, we hit it off again and well, guess the rest is just history. It's just amazing to me to finally be back with the most incredible man I've ever met other than my father. Of course, he also happens to remind me so much of my dad, in the good ways. I suppose the old adage that girls always go for guys like their fathers is true.

All that aside, I am completely stoked on life, with one condition. I'm deathly afraid of the whole "wanting to start a family" thing. Because in my past, that's been a big issue for me, where I wanted it before I knew we were ready. Luckily, fate intervened and it didn't happen, but the feeling that I want something like that scares the bejesus outta me. I've always promised myself, no kids until after my bachelor's degree. But the biological/hormonal pull to reproduce is sometimes just overwhelming.

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