Yeah! You like that Ivy!? You aren't the only Trophy Whore around this joint. I can cook a mean batch of Mac&Cheese. You ain't got nothing on me, girl!
See, that's the shit I have to resort to when Husband is away in the evenings. I eat like a fucking queen when he's home. But when he's not, I eat whatever I won't burn the house down making.
People look at me funny when I tell them I can't cook. "Yes you can, you just don't want to."
"Look, Bastard Ass, not only can I NOT cook, but people actually beg me not to cook. Don't run your mouth at me!"
And that Mac&Cheese was really gross. I pulled something out of my mouth that looked like wilted lettuce and I am pretty sure there is no lettuce up in this motherfucker.
Come home soon husband. I think I just .....
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I suppose I should clarify: I enjoy pressure. Applied slowly to a point where it builds into a slow, burning pain can be okay if done properly. And pinching is ok, too. It's the sharp jabs (spanking / punching) that I could truly do without.