need2xcap2

well my life has taken a very strange turn...there is always something going on...

so i got a phone call tonite while i was out w/ pantsonfire, esquire, shiva8, and 1aura1 from travis...he was really upset...so i asked him what was up...and he told me that our really good friend had committed suicide today...i didn't even know what to say...i just fell to the ground and started cryin...it's weird how this shit happens....the funny thing about it is that we all had strange feeling that it was coming..we just never knew when...and i guess today was just the rite time for him to do it...so i was pretty devistated...i finished my drink had a couple cigarettes and headed for home...screamed at the top of my lungs in the car and blasted the music...it's weird how every song seems to be geared to this type of thing when it needs to be the most...so here i am at home now w/ the people that matter most to me...it's hard to say but i know he's in a better place now...he wanted to go...he lived his life the way that he had wanted to and now he is done....im sure we will meet again..it's just so hard to believe....this is all so surreal....

so in honor of him im posting a happy picture of us doing what he loved the most...cooking..



what are we going to do w/ out our ben............................


i love u all

needie