Since this just barely happened I wrote a story for Niners Nation about it here. But the biggest thing for me is how most people don't think it's really a big deal. Sure it's a big deal an active player finally came out, but the reaction from most seems to be, so what? So he's gay, big deal. That's exactly how it should be. It shouldn't be a big deal. He's gay and that should be treated the same as someone saying they're straight. Why is it even a big deal someone is making this announcement? It shouldn't be a big deal because it's a non issue.Just so there's no confusion on where i stand on the issue here's what I wrote on goodreads.com:
I also think when people use words like "choice" in terms of sexuality, people are often using them in different ways. I have a choice in whom I sleep with, however I don't have a choice in whom I'm attracted to. So all this talk about gay people have a choice, no they don't, yes they do, no they don't. They have a choice in whom they sleep with, but they didn't choose to be gay. No one chooses their sexual orientation.
The position of the religious right means gays can only do one of two things:
1) Get married to someone of the opposite gender even though they're not physically attracted to them.
2) Remain celibate for the rest of their lives.
Do either one of those options sound particularly appealing to you? And to simply sluff it off like so many people do and say, "Well, everyone has temptations they have to deal with, that's just there's," is a bunch of fucking bullshit.
Human companionship is one of the most basic needs in life. People who are gay aren't unnatural. What IS unnatural is telling someone they need to deny the love they feel for another human being. Telling them that the love they feel is evil or wrong. THAT'S unnatural. THAT'S what's evil. If god is real and homosexuality is a sin, he shouldn't have made people gay. And anyone who tells someone who's gay that they need to deny this very basic human emotion and need, well they're the ones who are evil and wrong.
and
The problem is people only focus on the sex. But how much of any relationship is spent having sex? For sure it's an important part, but it's only one small part of any good relationship. How many people have married simply because the other person was good in bed? How many people have gotten divorced, especially with someone they really got along with, just because sex wasn't that great.
People have relationships and get married because they want to share their life with someone. They want someone there they can talk to and unburden themselves or have someone to lean on when times are tough. And the whole argument that marriage is to bring kids into the world doesn't hold up on closer inspection.
If you believed having kids was the main purpose of marriage than you'd be opposed to two 60 year old people getting married since they can't have kids. At the very least that 60 year old man could marry someone younger and still have kids. What about someone who, for some reason, can't have kids. Sorry, you can't marry her because she's barren, you need to find a fertile girl instead. And would you tell that girl she just needs more faith. God can do anything if you have enough faith so if you're not able to have children it's your fault because you obviously lack faith. No one would ever say that! But people say it to gay people all the time. If you just had enough faith God would change you. Are you kidding me!
Jason Collins is gay, and I'm so glad the response from most people is a shrug and a question about what else is going on because it really shouldn't matter.
tell me a shopping list, and I'll be game