Ah, so long since I've updated...
So, I still haven't taken my second set attempt. I want to, badly, but can't ever coordinate it. I wanted a friend to do it once, but she's not so great a friend, and we never got around to it. I wanted to get another friend to do it, but she's got a lot of shit going on in her life, and it would be selfish of me to ask her to do it. So, my guy is going to ask a photographer friend he knows if he's interested, and I hope he agrees to take it. I've got lots of ideas floating around in this little head of mine, I just need to get them on film...
Work is... work. As always. I'm making friends, still, and some of them are getting better and better. One friend, I love her to death, but she makes me sad. She's sad a lot, and I don't ever know what to say to help her out. Having spent a large portion of my life depressed, it's still impossible for me to find the right thing to say to someone so incredibly down in the dumps. But, I have friends, and that makes me happy.
Pets are good. It's time for my girls to get spayed (they're finally six months old... they grow so fast!!) So I'm trying to get that done. I wish vet bills weren't so expensive. With my power bill at 500 bucks, and the cox bill at 140, and my credit bill 140, I'm kinda hard pressed to find the cash I need these days... But I manage. My mom and grandmother both asked me this week if I needed anything. I almost wish I was the kind of person who could admit that a cash loan would be much appreciated, but I can't. I can't accept that I can't handle things. I just refuse. I need to handle it myself, even if I drag myself down because of it. I want to pull myself out of debt, and I don't want help. I don't want to have to admit failure. I guess it's the stubborn German in me, Ach, so, fuch mir.
My grandfather was in the hospital four times this month, and it scared us all. He's been in and out over the years, and I never get used to it. He's a stubborn German too, and the doctors said that's why he's ok now. He's too stubborn to admit defeat and just die. They said he should have been dead, but, he's ok now. Week, but ok. He goes in on the 18th to get his pacemaker adjusted, and it's a life threatening operation in his condition. They warned us all of the risks, but he's the kind of guy who can't give in knowing that something could have been attempted, so, he's giving it a shot. Better to die trying...
It's still scarey.
Things at the house are ok. We need a roommate. We can't really afford not to get one. We manage, but it would be nice to afford the finer things in life without worrying about the bills we need to pay instead. So, I'm asking around. So far, no luck, but I have hope.
My brother is all grown up. He's 19, and in the marines. I don't know when it happened, but he's an adult. It makes me sad and proud all at the same time. He turned out ok, despite it all, and that makes me thrilled for him. He took all the shit we've all been through, and everything he's been through personally, and he's a good person now. That's my baby brother
So, that's about it. I know there's plenty I'm forgetting, but I should go crawl in bed before my guy gets up for work in three hours. Gotta squeeze in that close time sometime
Here's a hug for you *HUG*
I love you guys.
So, I still haven't taken my second set attempt. I want to, badly, but can't ever coordinate it. I wanted a friend to do it once, but she's not so great a friend, and we never got around to it. I wanted to get another friend to do it, but she's got a lot of shit going on in her life, and it would be selfish of me to ask her to do it. So, my guy is going to ask a photographer friend he knows if he's interested, and I hope he agrees to take it. I've got lots of ideas floating around in this little head of mine, I just need to get them on film...
Work is... work. As always. I'm making friends, still, and some of them are getting better and better. One friend, I love her to death, but she makes me sad. She's sad a lot, and I don't ever know what to say to help her out. Having spent a large portion of my life depressed, it's still impossible for me to find the right thing to say to someone so incredibly down in the dumps. But, I have friends, and that makes me happy.
Pets are good. It's time for my girls to get spayed (they're finally six months old... they grow so fast!!) So I'm trying to get that done. I wish vet bills weren't so expensive. With my power bill at 500 bucks, and the cox bill at 140, and my credit bill 140, I'm kinda hard pressed to find the cash I need these days... But I manage. My mom and grandmother both asked me this week if I needed anything. I almost wish I was the kind of person who could admit that a cash loan would be much appreciated, but I can't. I can't accept that I can't handle things. I just refuse. I need to handle it myself, even if I drag myself down because of it. I want to pull myself out of debt, and I don't want help. I don't want to have to admit failure. I guess it's the stubborn German in me, Ach, so, fuch mir.
My grandfather was in the hospital four times this month, and it scared us all. He's been in and out over the years, and I never get used to it. He's a stubborn German too, and the doctors said that's why he's ok now. He's too stubborn to admit defeat and just die. They said he should have been dead, but, he's ok now. Week, but ok. He goes in on the 18th to get his pacemaker adjusted, and it's a life threatening operation in his condition. They warned us all of the risks, but he's the kind of guy who can't give in knowing that something could have been attempted, so, he's giving it a shot. Better to die trying...
It's still scarey.
Things at the house are ok. We need a roommate. We can't really afford not to get one. We manage, but it would be nice to afford the finer things in life without worrying about the bills we need to pay instead. So, I'm asking around. So far, no luck, but I have hope.
My brother is all grown up. He's 19, and in the marines. I don't know when it happened, but he's an adult. It makes me sad and proud all at the same time. He turned out ok, despite it all, and that makes me thrilled for him. He took all the shit we've all been through, and everything he's been through personally, and he's a good person now. That's my baby brother
So, that's about it. I know there's plenty I'm forgetting, but I should go crawl in bed before my guy gets up for work in three hours. Gotta squeeze in that close time sometime
Here's a hug for you *HUG*
I love you guys.VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I hope things are still working out for you. Good luck on the roommate search.
I'm sorry to hear your grandad wasn't doing so well there for a bit. I am sure he'll continue being a trooper...sometimes having a strong mind is all it takes to beat a weak body.
And, I know what you mean about vet bills. You may check into seeing if your area has a "Spay Station"...basically, you take a pay stub in and they charge you to spay your pets based on what you make. You, taking in a waitress' pay check, probably wouldn't have to pay anything to get either dog fixed. Our Humane Society does it here...but I think it's a nation-wide thing.