neakylikeaninja

Not bad today. I was mad depressed yesterday, thinking about how much I hate my job, and I talked to my girl and she cheered me up. I felt bad bitching to her but she was cool about it.
Today I work at 4, and until then I will be looking at job opportunities in my area. I really need to get back on the 9 to 5 shift...
So how're you doin?

I'm SOOOO jealous of the food! I love Olive Garden and haven't gotten to eat there in a gazillion years.
Oh, and being sad when you can't see your man isn't stupid at all. I get the same way. Love will do that to you!
I hope you get your house, too.

So, I'm picturing you standing between two warring gang fronts, slowly taking off your clothes and bringing peace between the two parties. Damn this is hard to type drunk.

And OH! I was talking to my friend's brother and he tells me that my high school crush talks about me all the time. Basically he says "She loves you, man. For real. Talks about you all the time." So, that's enough to fuck my day up.

Evanescence rocks. I just never got around to buying their CD. I think its cause it's the one CD that all my friends own, so I was just always listening to their copy.

Anyway, you asked what I do. I manage a convenience store/gas station. I have a degree in graphic design. Can you see how the two relate? Yeah, I can't either. I took the job as a temp. position until I find something better, but now I think I may go back to school. If I do that, I may just start waiting tables. The woman who quit on me was my best worker, but she started letting it go to her head. She was really starting to piss me off. Besides, she had a racist streak which really pissed me off. I'm about the gayest, blackest straight white guy you'll ever meet. I take homophobic/racist comments personally. The word "faggot" will set me off. And this lady would occasionally let some "inappropriate" comment fly and it would piss me the hell off. But, damn, she was a hard worker.

Anyway, sorry for another long ass comment. I'm gonna go sleep this drunkeness off. Take care.

[Edited on Apr 10, 2005 1:47PM]

Edited to clean up my drunken bad grammar!

[Edited on Apr 10, 2005 1:49PM]

Aight ... good - we're on the same page. Of course ... it really helps that we are continually writing long ass messages in order to keep up with the habit. LOL

Anyways ... I *DO* crave the yummy Olive Garden. I REALLY need to find one close-ish. The Tortellini is delicious ... really - there isn't much there that I haven't liked. It's been so long since I've been there that I don't even remember what my normal favourite dish is. Bah ... today I came home to Little Caesers pizza, which I haven't had in YEARS for the same reason - none in Toronto. But my cousin had visited from the boonies and brought pizza. It was heaven in my mouth. So fucking yummy. *drools*

YAY .... I almost made you shoot coffee out your nose. I am so great ... I am so great ... everybody loves me I am so great.

Uh ... yeah ... anyways ... there has been a few times that I have spewed half chewed crackers at the screen when something has crossed my funny bone. Believe me ... cracker chunks are a bitch to clean. LOL

So I like your plan at getting back at Bitchy McBitchbitch. But I'd also add in a few kicks to the shin for good measure.

Oh - and don't worry ... I have no plans to take the name. I'm more than happy with what I have right now. Abadinfluence actually quite suits me in some cases.

So it's good to know that you have a boyfriend that cares about you and is trying to help you and also gives you freedom. Be really happy you have that - a lot of girls aren't so lucky. LOL - I sound like a chick more than a guy right now ... but being the guy that all girls seem comfortable to talk to, I hear a lot of complaints about boyfriends and such. What you have there is a rarity. LOL - and he apparently knows how to make the ocean move. LOL

You remind me a lot of one of my friends. She's been cheated on in every relationship she's been in and although the guy she is with now is perfect for her and would never do such a thing, she still worries about it. And hey ... I can totally understand. After it's happened over and over and over, what more can you expect but for it to happen again? Same for me really ... you can only be told your ugly so many times until it sticks.

"Right on. Now I know who to go complain to when I'm in a bad mood!!!! You just set yourself up"

Well ... sure ... I set myself up per se ... but as said above, I am the person everyone feels comfy talking to. Feel free to use me as a shoulder to cry on, an ear to yap to, a head to bounce things off. I believe that is what I was put here on Earth to do.

Oh - and I know all about what you are talking about in the way of scaring friends and such. I was so down and out of it that my friend that I did BT's with everday before school, during school and after school (BT's = bottle tokes of hash BTW) went to the head of guidance and warned them about how much I wanted to die. I was pulled out of class and sent to a Youth worker and was almost admitted to hospital and all.

Between that friend and a teacher, my life was saved. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. The worst part is though ... I've lost touch with the friend. Haven't seen her since highschool graduation. I am searching for her ... I want to say thank you to her ... tell her how much that one little thing she did meant to me and how much it has changed my life.

I really want to be able to catch up with her and thank her ... 'cause there is absolutely no way I can thank my teacher. She died my graduating year. If you ever feel bored on here, scroll back through my journals to the December 13th-ish and you can read all about her and how she changed my life.

YAY - you posted questions. Me likey questions.

What's your favorite color? Blue

What's your dream car? 1940 Chev painted maroon ... with a bucket seat and side running boards.

What's your favorite animal? Sea Otters. God damn are they cute. Followed closely by monkies, cats, african pygmy hedgehogs, rabbits and the drummer from the Muppets.

When a girl paints her nails, should her toenails match her fingernails? Nah ... I'm not picky. In fact, I am more for natural beauty. I enjoy the non made up look. But if she wishes to paint nails ... whatever, I've been known to do it myself on seldom occasion. Matchinig doesn't have to happen. Hell ... each finger doesn't even have to match as far as I'm concerned.

What do you think happens to you when you die? Oh boy ... my main topic of conversation when I am high - philosophy. Nice. Let me start off by saying that I don't believe in God or Satan, Heaven or Hell. I believe that I am my own higher power ... and you are your own higher power ... and Richard Simmons is his own demented higher power ... and therefore ... actually - therefore isn't the right word ... but anyways ... my belief is in reincarnation. Everyone in your life is there for a reason. Paths entertwine for a genuine good and every dark cloud has a silver lining. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and what does kill you ... was meant to happen. Nothing could have stopped it. I sometimes battle myself over free will and pre-destination. I am currently trying to wrap my head around whether chess pieces will ask themselves why they "took" that rook instead of the pawn ... or why they didn't move to the left instead of in the path of the Queen. Sure ... they don't actually talk ... but you get my idea, yes? Is there someone just controlling me and putting me in these places? Is this world a game for some superior beings that we don't know about because we are so ignorant? Are there one dimensional (two, four, etc dimensional) beings around us that we either cannot see or choose not to see/believe in?

Blah ... yeah ... I'm high. Sorry. LOL


How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7.834 lbs per commercial break.

Wow - that was one long ass answer.

I shall have to check out your poetry at some point when I actually have time. I set aside an hour to write this to you before I went to bed and I am nearing that time. LOL This is a motherfucking long entry. I wouldn't be surprised if it literally takes up a whole page. Goddamn I ramble.

Anyways ... I believe we have figured out what my birthday gift is. LOL. Me likey cookies.

And moving ... yeah ... I moved in October. From the only house I ever remember living in (actually my second house, but I was only in the first one for the first six months of my life, so I don't count it). My old neighbourhood was a drab. It used to be nice, but it's gone way downhill. Kids causing shit and yelling and crap all down the street at all hours of the day, police all the time, two gangs in the vicinty and the fact that I was held up at gunpoint six times in two years ... yeah ... great area.

We moved ... get this ... six streets away ... and it is a completely different atmosphere. I have yet to see a police car on the street ... no little kids being asses ... no noise issues ... nothing. I see more wildlife than I do punk ass kids. It is great.

All I have to do is actually unpack. 65% of my stuff is still in boxes. LOL

Anyways ... sleep is awaiting me and I look forward to it. Have a good day/night/whenever the heck it is you are reading this.

First off, thanks for what you said about what I wrote. No it wasn't the first paragraph of the story, but now that I read it, it could be. You may have just inspired me to start writing again.

Secondly, I didn't think your set was that bad. Trust me, there's plenty worse on there. But, did you ever think of using your car in your set? (after you get it painted green?) I think that would be sweet. There are a few car sets on SG. But with you and a badass green camaro, I don't see how you could go wrong.

Oh and I don't think I've congratulated you on your new job, so CONGRATS!!

Good late evening,

Well, I must admit you do consume a lot of coffee, along with that quite a lot of suger. You must be super sweet!! Glad to hear your feeling positive about the job of atleast not slamming it 24/7. Maybe next week will be a better time to visit anyway? How are those great poems doing? Look forward to reading more of them soon. I really have no expert advice on your next set, alas to just enjoy yourself. Take care.

Hmmmm ... send YOU something? I dunno about that ... I sent you like 10,000 words in your previous journal. (Which I apparently posted just as you were posting todays journal)

Now ... where are these pointy ribs you speak of? I didn't see any in the set you posted. However ... in the most non-creepy way possible ... nice boobies.

So ... you write poetry huh? Is it a personal thing, or do you mind sharing? I've love to read some if you care to share.

Way to go on finding a job. That's awesome.

You know, I rarely use the word awesome in conversation. Just when I'm typing on this site. Hmm...

Anywho, as always, love the poem. Really describes the feeling of not being able to sleep. "too tired to sleep" is a great line. I've felt that way many many times. I've been having a good week this week as far as sleep goes. The only thing bad about that is that I know next week I'll be tossing and turning and staring at the clock.

I see absolutely no reason to reject that set. It's wonderful. Youre hot.

*GIANT HUGGLES*

Why you might ask? Well ... first off for getting a job ... but secondly for writing a long assed entry. I adore long entries ... so really - feel free to do so whenever. Never feel as if you are rambling.

Anyways ... congrats on the job. Olive Garden is yummy. I wish there was one around me. They all went out of business in Ontario I think ... at least in Toronto. That I know of. I miss it there. I loved it. Now I want some. Dang you.

So - you aren't gonna let the cheque just be forgotten are you? You're still gonna yell at Bitchy McBitchbitch, right?

I completely agree with you about answering questions. It always brings out info that you woulda never known otherwise. I found out a lot about some of my friends on here ... stuff I woulda never known about them otherwise prolly.

So - can I tell you how much I appriciate your name? No? Too bad ... imma tell you anyways. I smiled hardcore when I saw it ... I always appriciate a well thought out name. I had actually at one time thought of chaning my name on here to a variation of what you chose.

So - what makes you self conscious ... other than the ribs deal? Which ... really ... I can completely understand. I have shitty self esteem myself. I mean ... after being told that you are fat, ugly, useless, stupid, etc. over and over and over for years, it kinda sticks with you. I still rarely take the compliments thrown my way ... makes me think that someone is trying to butter me up for something. Like ... sure ... I'm happy with myself, but I still don't understand how people can think I am attractive.

But whatever ... each to their own. I won't go on about the whole rib dealy ... 'cause I know from my own life that it will fall on deaf ears. Only YOU will be able to convince yourself that it isn't that big of a deal.

But really ... what a fucking knob your ex was. I mean ... c'mon ... unless you have superfluous nipples on your ribs, how the hell can ribs be boobs? Fucking tard he was.

And really ... taking my advice is like taking ... uh ... something. I have nothing. Grr.

I appriciate you sparing the gory details about how wet your bf makes you. That made me smile super large. I mean ... sure ... I don't mind hearing about that kinda stuff ... but sometimes it can be a lil TMI. For future reference though ... if the conversation swings that way, imma have to be forced to describing how much I like giving oral or something. LOL

Now - the one main part of your entry that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside was this ...

"However, I still have clinical depression. It's something I should take pills for, but I hate relying on people, and I hate going to people with my problems. So, not many people know (even my parents don't know I get depressed) and I've never been to a doctor for it."

Why did I get all warm and fuzzy about that? Well ... it made me feel unalone. I'm the same way ... I've never been diagnosed with any depression issues ... but I know for a fact that I was suicidal for years, high risk suicidal at that for two years and still deal with depression issues. It comes out of nowhere. I am way too empathetic for my own good and frequently get in a depressed mood for the smallest thing ... but it usually doesn't last too too long.

I've never gotten to the point of crying incessently ... but moping and stuff ... hells yeah I've been there.

"I can't imagine girls who date guys JUST for money. Makes me sick."

Don't even get me started on that. I've met my fair share of those types of people and I just wanna knock them down a peg in life. But really ... what can ya do ... people are different for a reason. If everyone thought the same way, life would be pretty boring.

And I fully appriciate the statement about helping out with the SO. My girlfriend lives by herself and I feel kinda bad that I don't chip in for groceries and stuff ... but I have been pretty down in the way of money lately (by lately ... I mean ... uh ... the last two years) and I just feel like crap not being able to give her some money for the food that I eat.

"Maybe I should've been born a guy, but I think the boobs look better on me."

From that picture you have up there, I'd say that the boobs look good on you too. lol

Anyways ... I think I am done yapping now. This is a pretty long entry as it is. LOL

good luck on getting your money

good luck on getting paid- i hate how employers think they can just fuck with people like that. Like, oh you worked for us and we didnt' pay you or we lost your check and we're going to give you the run around about it so we can get out of ever paying you. It's shitty! Go kick a bitch in the teeth and GET PAID!

It sounds like you might actually have insomina of some kind. A friend of mine has it severely bad. It was misdiagnosed several times, but we finally traced it back to her anxiety.
You should definitely see a doctor about it.

my boyfriend cuddles in his sleep too. he's not a big cuddler any other time, except when we're talking in bed before we fall asleep. he always rolls away from me at first, but then grabs me in his sleep. it's cute, and pretty cool, cuz I can't sleep now unless he is holding me.

Here is that group I was talking about... I figured since you mentioned you are a waitress you'd probably enjoy it.
It's a good place to go bitch about customers. I do it alllll the time!
About the apartment, it's funny you have almost the same situation I had. I guess it's not all that uncommon after all.

Holy crap.

"Hellllllllo floor make me a sandwich."

"I'm running I'm running I'm running I'm running I'M NAKED!!!"

Z - "Why does the soap have bacon in it?"
G - "I MADE IT MYSELF!!"

Three of the funniest lines I've ever heard.

So - there is the fact that you love Zim, you like great books and bands and movies ... all of this plays into that Friend Request you'll see.

Wow, that was really good. I'm assuming you wrote it. (Sometimes I read something like that in a journal and I'm so amazed, but then I find out it's song lyrics by whatever band). Sometimes I'm kinda slow.

It's been awhile since I've written anything myself. I wrote a short story about a month ago, that basically described my arrest (no biggie, just possesion) in a fiction form. I was polishing it up, but I've sorta been in a funk lately. Good to know that I'm not the only one.

Lately I've been feeling this urge to paint. I haven't painted since college, and that was only once. Before that, in high school, I painted all the time. It's just so expensive to get started again.

So, you're designing stainglass doors? That'll be cool. You'll have to post pics so we can all see them.

That's fucking brillant really. You have such a gift of flowing your lines. How long did that take you to compose. Where you listening to anything while you wrote it? Did you study it in school?
Have a great week.

Thanks for stopping by my journal. Those are a couple good prank ideas! I might just have my revenge soon. It's funny you mention the sink sprayer one. I've actually done that several times, and it ALWAYS works!
Another favorite of mine is the confetti claymore. You know those "party popper" things? They're like little tiny plastic champagne bottles, and when you pull the string it explodes and confetti shoots out. Well, I taped one to the inside of the pantry door, and used duct tape and a paperclip to secure the end of the string to one of the shelves inside. So when somebody opened it, BAM! Confetti all over them. It actually worked.

Cute cat pic BTW.

your cat looks almost exactly like mine! england was great- hopefully i'll have some photos up soon...

Mmmmm.... Ramen noodles..... aaahhhhh.....
The secret to good ramen noodles (at least for me) is garlic salt. Throw a little garlic salt in that shit and mmmmh damn it's good.

Yeah, I know what you mean about the weather. Here in Cincy it was hot on Tuesday and Wednesday, like in the sixties, and today it was rainy and dismal.

And if money starts falling from the sky? You so have to hook me up!

I'm trying to get one of thise 1-800-Gary Coleman loans. looks like I may get it. God knows that'll help get caught up on all the past bills. You should give it a shot. All they can do is say no.