navi_____

I used to be invisible. I was ugly, no one really liked me. Throughout high school that's how it was. I was there, but hated by most. After I stopped taking their shit and talking back to them and humiliating them infront of their friends.. then they moved to just ignoring me. Invisibility.

I started going out to Vertex during my senior year. I didn't socialize much out of the people I arrived with, I was way too shy.. and my company wasn't about buzzing around either. Brenton was the first real person there I met and started to chat with, hung out with once, and stuff. Then I met Ken. Ken and I hung out. Ken introduced me to Shena and Tristan. Tristan and I hung out. I started going out to Vertex and meeting up with them all. I met more and more people. I started to get involved in Karnage Inc, and thus meeting even more people. They didn't ignore me, they didn't hate me, I wasn't invisible to them.

Then BAM! I became popular. Everyone knows me. I wasn't invisible. People watched me, examined me, and even started rumors about me. Now I'm under watch. Whatever I do, it is seen.

I don't believe I'm pretty. I don't believe I have a great personality or any of those things. But others see that in me. It's weird. It's weird getting treated this way.


Lately I've been wanting to do my disappearing act again. Before it was easy.. no one really saw me so it was fine. Sure they'd see me at school.. but during my free pieriods in the station I'd sit in a corner and just do random work. No one really saw me, that's how I wanted it. When I got home I kept to myself, rarely came online or anything like that. I stayed invisible.

Doing this now would be very, very hard. I would get questioned why I was gone for so long, why I wasn't going out, why I wasn't answering my phone, why I wasn't online, etc, etc, etc.

Why do I want to disappear? I guess I'm not 100% sure. I don't feel like I belong here. I don't feel like I deserve what I'm getting. I'm getting paranoid again and thinking everyone is just faking it. I'm getting super paranoid.



So now I need to figure out a way to get over this mood.. since I don't think I can hide away anymore.



and on a unrelated note .. I made this recently ::