Okay something scary it is 
Religion
I'm Pagan. I believe in the air that I breath. The tree's that grow and the spirits that are in everything and everyone. My religion and belief in it have saved me from myself and from depression more times than I can count. My religion helps me be who I am.
My mum tried to raise me as a Christian but it wasn't who I am. She took me to church. I was banned from church for being disruptive. I first encountered "witch's" as a child. I was reading a book under a tree and a woman smiled at me as she went past and say "blessed be". I had no idea what that meant or who she was or why she was talking to me. So I asked my mum. She smiled and said "oh don't worry she is just a white witch". My only knowledge of witches was from the Church and cartoons. Witches were evil and scary. I guess that i looked scared when my mum said this and she laughed and said "White Witches are good witches". We moved houses a few years later.
During the years between my childhood and actively trying to learn about paganism I picked up phrases. "The Wind is my master, I am his pupil" was one that stuck with me throughout this time. My sensai taught me it in Ju-Jitsu to help me focus and relax myself to try and help me overcome my asthma. So whenever I was about to attempt something hard for me be it physical or mental I would recite the words in my mind and calm myself. My sensai explained that I was focusing my chi and that it was my body's energy that would help me accomplish whatever I wanted.
I practised Ju-Jitsu for quite a few years and reciting the words became 2nd nature to me as well as the feeling of peace and calm that came with them. Whenever I felt a asthma attack coming on I would recite the words and focus feeling myself calm and my breathing slow until the asthma attack faded. I did this for years at least once a week. My sister Joanne relied heavily on her inhaler and expected it to save her, She went to hospital 3 times due to asthma attacks. I never had to go once despite having a more dangerous grade of asthma.
I started learning about Paganism when I was 11. This was very early and I still to this day don't understand why someone didn't question the 11 year old getting books out about the history of Paganism. I read every book many times and it touched me on a level that nothing else had. Here was something that respected the world I was in. It taught you a different way to look at the world around you. The animals and plants weren't just resources to use they were connected to everything around you.
The first time I did a ritual was a watershed moment for me. I was worried that someone anyone would interrupt me. Worried that I wouldn't feel anything different. Even more worried that I would feel something different. I cast my circle of protection. I felt my feeling of calm. My body relaxed and I breathed easily. This wasn't something dark or wrong this was something that had made my life easier. This had helped me accomplish so much when I thought I was in over me head. This was just my chi. Any fear of Paganism and worry vanished at that moment.
I have only talked to 4 other Pagans who feel the same way and feel the same sense of belonging that I do about my religion.
Religion and Martial Arts are the cornerstones of who I am. There are lots of other bits that make up me but they are the 2 main blocks. 1 protects and defends me Mentally and Emotionally the other protects me Physically and helps me protect those I love.
Religion
I'm Pagan. I believe in the air that I breath. The tree's that grow and the spirits that are in everything and everyone. My religion and belief in it have saved me from myself and from depression more times than I can count. My religion helps me be who I am.
My mum tried to raise me as a Christian but it wasn't who I am. She took me to church. I was banned from church for being disruptive. I first encountered "witch's" as a child. I was reading a book under a tree and a woman smiled at me as she went past and say "blessed be". I had no idea what that meant or who she was or why she was talking to me. So I asked my mum. She smiled and said "oh don't worry she is just a white witch". My only knowledge of witches was from the Church and cartoons. Witches were evil and scary. I guess that i looked scared when my mum said this and she laughed and said "White Witches are good witches". We moved houses a few years later.
During the years between my childhood and actively trying to learn about paganism I picked up phrases. "The Wind is my master, I am his pupil" was one that stuck with me throughout this time. My sensai taught me it in Ju-Jitsu to help me focus and relax myself to try and help me overcome my asthma. So whenever I was about to attempt something hard for me be it physical or mental I would recite the words in my mind and calm myself. My sensai explained that I was focusing my chi and that it was my body's energy that would help me accomplish whatever I wanted.
I practised Ju-Jitsu for quite a few years and reciting the words became 2nd nature to me as well as the feeling of peace and calm that came with them. Whenever I felt a asthma attack coming on I would recite the words and focus feeling myself calm and my breathing slow until the asthma attack faded. I did this for years at least once a week. My sister Joanne relied heavily on her inhaler and expected it to save her, She went to hospital 3 times due to asthma attacks. I never had to go once despite having a more dangerous grade of asthma.
I started learning about Paganism when I was 11. This was very early and I still to this day don't understand why someone didn't question the 11 year old getting books out about the history of Paganism. I read every book many times and it touched me on a level that nothing else had. Here was something that respected the world I was in. It taught you a different way to look at the world around you. The animals and plants weren't just resources to use they were connected to everything around you.
The first time I did a ritual was a watershed moment for me. I was worried that someone anyone would interrupt me. Worried that I wouldn't feel anything different. Even more worried that I would feel something different. I cast my circle of protection. I felt my feeling of calm. My body relaxed and I breathed easily. This wasn't something dark or wrong this was something that had made my life easier. This had helped me accomplish so much when I thought I was in over me head. This was just my chi. Any fear of Paganism and worry vanished at that moment.
I have only talked to 4 other Pagans who feel the same way and feel the same sense of belonging that I do about my religion.
Religion and Martial Arts are the cornerstones of who I am. There are lots of other bits that make up me but they are the 2 main blocks. 1 protects and defends me Mentally and Emotionally the other protects me Physically and helps me protect those I love.
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I was raised in the Episcopal church. I came back to the Episcopal church in my early twenties.