Ok I'm 25 and I think about death every day of the week and have done for the last 3 years.
I lived in Douglas with 3 other housemates. I went out most weekends and I had a great life. I had a job I loved and friends that I could go out and hang out with every day. The one weekend my dad came up to say Hi like he did every week. he brought Natalie with him and they had a up of tea I had some water and we just talked about what has been going on with me and work and what I had been missing at home.
Dad mentioned he had to go and see the doctors soon about some blood pressure thing. That didn't bother me at all really because my dad has had high blood pressure since he was 19. The doctors have been treating it that long with tablets.
My dad has been dying for the last 3 years. He has been in hospital twice serioudlly in this time.
The tablets have wrecked his liver and kidneys and there now talking about dilysis. He was meant to get the operation for it but they cancelled it because he had the flu and t would be risky to procede otherwise.
The doctors said he wouldn't last another 2 years. He has lasted 3 so far but he is getting steadily worse. He can't walk upstairs without needing to stop and rest when he is half way up. Most days he cant talk because he is so out of breath.
I have moved back home in this time and I let mself lose my job in Douglas because I don't want to be told my dad has died and the only time I saw him was a week ago when he visited. I told everyone I applied for uni and lied saying i was knocked back. I'm meant to be saving to leave the island but I keep spending all my money. The sad fact of it is that i don't want to be anywhere else I want to be here when my dad dies.
I lived in Douglas with 3 other housemates. I went out most weekends and I had a great life. I had a job I loved and friends that I could go out and hang out with every day. The one weekend my dad came up to say Hi like he did every week. he brought Natalie with him and they had a up of tea I had some water and we just talked about what has been going on with me and work and what I had been missing at home.
Dad mentioned he had to go and see the doctors soon about some blood pressure thing. That didn't bother me at all really because my dad has had high blood pressure since he was 19. The doctors have been treating it that long with tablets.
My dad has been dying for the last 3 years. He has been in hospital twice serioudlly in this time.
The tablets have wrecked his liver and kidneys and there now talking about dilysis. He was meant to get the operation for it but they cancelled it because he had the flu and t would be risky to procede otherwise.
The doctors said he wouldn't last another 2 years. He has lasted 3 so far but he is getting steadily worse. He can't walk upstairs without needing to stop and rest when he is half way up. Most days he cant talk because he is so out of breath.
I have moved back home in this time and I let mself lose my job in Douglas because I don't want to be told my dad has died and the only time I saw him was a week ago when he visited. I told everyone I applied for uni and lied saying i was knocked back. I'm meant to be saving to leave the island but I keep spending all my money. The sad fact of it is that i don't want to be anywhere else I want to be here when my dad dies.
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the last 3 months my dad was alive we never spoke or saw each other once, an everyday when i think about him it still gets to me, so if you want to spend all your money and stay home with your dad do it, nothin will ever be able to replace the time you have left with him.
im 28 now an i quit jobs all the time! even well paid ones, lifes to short to worry about what other ppl think of you, or what you should have achieved by now, as i write this im sittin at home when i dhould be at work, but iv not been in for two weeks and im not going back! an it means im throwin away 20 thou a year, screw it! i just got an interview to be a postie in the morning, an iv got my final prison officer selection on saturday, somethin always comes round the corner!
im not scared of dying, im scared of wastin the time iv got left