natatree

I don't like doctors, or hospitals, or needles, expeciallty cathaders, and I don't like pain. Last night laying in the bath, my right flank (so the hospital called it, or lower back) started to hurt (kidney area). I ended up having to get my Mother and my boy burningleviathan help me out of the bath in tears. Which was kind of embarrasing. I managed to get to sleep. But awoke around 5ish in absolute agony.

I ended up in hospital, having to pee in a cup, and of course needles, and of course, my veins didn't play nicly. The doctor, who a) was tired or b) didn't undertsnad what I was saying, tried twice (left arm, right arm) then a nurse try (right hand) and then another nurse try, though this time, with a cathader. Now, needles are one of my main fears, I will lay there and let them have 4 attempts, but then, I usually get all "this is my body, yada yada" and a cathader so adam held my shoulders done after me going "I don't want a cathader" her explaining I had too, and that it was a babies cathader, and then me telling her I wanted it out as soon as she was done and that I wasn't to be flused. She did manage to get the blood, and I let her lead the needle in seeing she thought I may need a drip.


That is seriously one of my biggest fears.

But soon after that, they let me out. Urinary tract infection that has made its way up my kidney or something. Heh. I'm so so annoyed at being sick half of my life.

Edit:

GOD FUCKING FUCK.

I JUST HAD TO RING THE AMBULANCE FOR MY MUM.

I COULDN'T WAKE HER UP. NEITHER COULD DAD. I RANG THEM AND I HAD TO DO EVERYTHING. I WAS SO SCARED. SHE WOULDN'T RESPOND. SHE WOULDN'T WAKE UP.

it's my fault. I broke her. I ran her to the ground. She is too tired. I've been sick. She opened the shop for me, and now she's covering my shifts, and jans shifts, and coming home and cooking and cleaning, and I try. Ive been depressed and brought her down.

They thought she took pills or alcohol.

FUCK.