natashanasty

My closest friend died last Monday night of a heroin overdose. I can't even begin to explain in words what this person meant to me...or what his family meant to me....Ben and I met in 1994 and within two days of meeting we were in a relationship and talking about getting married. A week later I was living with him and his family...who became my second family. We ended up breaking up over a year later because of his problems with drugs.....but that is the only reason we broke up...we never stopped loving each other and we stayed best friends. Ben moved around a lot...always trying to find himself...but no matter where he went....we always stayed in touch and we always were together when he came home...in fact, he actually spent one christmas eve with me instead of his family. Ben went through more pain in his life than anyone should ever have to go through. In 2001, his fifteen year old brother, who was like a little brother to me, was killed in a car accident. His family fell apart after that, and never got it back together...his father became a drunk and lost his job and all of the family's money, his mother became a xanax addict and pretty much lost her mind.....so Ben not only lost his brother but he lost his family too. Shortly before his brother died, Ben got involved with some psycho borderline chick who got pregnant to keep him from leaving her. Of course Ben married her...to try to do the right thing....but she and her crazy family ended up taking his son away from him anyway.....that was pretty much the final blow for Ben...he has spent the last two years trying to get that bitch to let him in his son's life....and he was never the same after he lost his son. For the last year, I had been desperately trying to help Ben get his life together. He was in so much pain, though. About a month ago, some asshole introduced him to heroin. And that's all she wrote....he died in a house full of junkies who didn't even give a shit about him...he had no idea what he was doing with the heroin....how much was too much..he was just trying to kill the pain. I guess he isn't in pain anymore. His funeral was Saturday. I finally stopped crying on Sunday. Ben was the one person that when I felt totally alone in the world, I always knew that I wasn't because I had him. That's all I have to say right now. Thank you to everyone who has called me and offered their support to me during this time.