Huzzah!!
que esta posible en este momento? en momentos futura? fuck i dont know but i cant wait to find out. what a pot of gold i've stumbled upon. if only this emotion were moisture and if only i were a dog, so i cud shake this off in the doorway and not let it envelop me. but it is. come what may, stay what is. me tomes! what a curveball. its all good. growing up means bleeding. and enjoying every minute of it.
i only trust 4 people at this point in my life, only these 3 boys and 1 girl each hold 1/4th of my heart in their hands. when and if they drop it, at least they dont slam it to the ground and smush it afterwards like SOME dickasses i used to know. its placed gently on the ground, and in some time or no time at all its possible and probable that the connection gravitates us back and all is well. i love it. you can come back to me full force, and you and you can stay with me. i wont let this get away from me again. we know better, the ones with knowledge and compassion. i'm tired of gravitating to the same ol' shallow garbage, with selfish whims and curtains for eyes. growing up, i'm starting to notice who real people are. and i love them for it. even from a distance.
numb to stiff, back to twirl. spit.
jumping into this i thought it was just a little puddle, but be it a black hole. talking to you live from my downward spiral. pity me,tease me,love me hate me...do something so i can remember how i bleed, not just that i do. this harmonica was once feathers to my heart, now it slits my insides like glass swallowed.....but who the know the how the when...fanciful nonsense. whats on the other side of this hole? or do i just flip over and keep going down...but up? i wonder if youre on the other side of this sharp fecal rainbow. be you my pot of gold? my wealth hidden just for me at the end of strife? or are you the strife? shit if i know. this debacle is quite taxing, quite vexing...more so than i imagined yesterday. the bleak outlook is the reality i was discouraged from believing. why wont the one be there to life this anvil necklace from my throat, to pet my bleeding skull and tell me everythings gonna be alright? id pet myself, but as we all are aware, the effect aint quite the same. i'd like to share this with someone, but theyve laced a mask of chains and smoke over their ears eyes heart. im just a nagging echo, a proverbial discomfort in the hindquarters...i just wanna do good. but i follow by example. why wont this one be good to me? consistently? change i despise, i need my constant. but the crazy train ran this kid over one too many times. i hold my hand out, just to get bitten, licked in remorse, and then bitten again. take me. how many years can some people exist before theyre allowed to be free? walk down this aisle of hot coals and metal shards, the end result is better than we could both fathom. do something.
que esta posible en este momento? en momentos futura? fuck i dont know but i cant wait to find out. what a pot of gold i've stumbled upon. if only this emotion were moisture and if only i were a dog, so i cud shake this off in the doorway and not let it envelop me. but it is. come what may, stay what is. me tomes! what a curveball. its all good. growing up means bleeding. and enjoying every minute of it.
i only trust 4 people at this point in my life, only these 3 boys and 1 girl each hold 1/4th of my heart in their hands. when and if they drop it, at least they dont slam it to the ground and smush it afterwards like SOME dickasses i used to know. its placed gently on the ground, and in some time or no time at all its possible and probable that the connection gravitates us back and all is well. i love it. you can come back to me full force, and you and you can stay with me. i wont let this get away from me again. we know better, the ones with knowledge and compassion. i'm tired of gravitating to the same ol' shallow garbage, with selfish whims and curtains for eyes. growing up, i'm starting to notice who real people are. and i love them for it. even from a distance.
numb to stiff, back to twirl. spit.
jumping into this i thought it was just a little puddle, but be it a black hole. talking to you live from my downward spiral. pity me,tease me,love me hate me...do something so i can remember how i bleed, not just that i do. this harmonica was once feathers to my heart, now it slits my insides like glass swallowed.....but who the know the how the when...fanciful nonsense. whats on the other side of this hole? or do i just flip over and keep going down...but up? i wonder if youre on the other side of this sharp fecal rainbow. be you my pot of gold? my wealth hidden just for me at the end of strife? or are you the strife? shit if i know. this debacle is quite taxing, quite vexing...more so than i imagined yesterday. the bleak outlook is the reality i was discouraged from believing. why wont the one be there to life this anvil necklace from my throat, to pet my bleeding skull and tell me everythings gonna be alright? id pet myself, but as we all are aware, the effect aint quite the same. i'd like to share this with someone, but theyve laced a mask of chains and smoke over their ears eyes heart. im just a nagging echo, a proverbial discomfort in the hindquarters...i just wanna do good. but i follow by example. why wont this one be good to me? consistently? change i despise, i need my constant. but the crazy train ran this kid over one too many times. i hold my hand out, just to get bitten, licked in remorse, and then bitten again. take me. how many years can some people exist before theyre allowed to be free? walk down this aisle of hot coals and metal shards, the end result is better than we could both fathom. do something.