narshada

Well Monday took a nosedive.

H, who I was seeing briefly until she decided things were 'complicated' with her situation has just updated her facebook profile status to 'in a relationship' and guess what? It's not with me. Even as I was clicking, I held a little bit of hope that her situation had changed and it was going to be with me - cue my heart dropping out of my arse.

I really don't feel like I deserved to be treated like this. As long as people are straight with me I can cope with anything and still be a gentleman and a decent person. When my ex explained that we were breaking up because she was moving away, we still went on holiday together as friends and I helped her load the van when she moved. We still talk every week.

H's behaviour has been shitty - she came on to me then backed off and now I find out she's with someone else from fucking facebook because she didn't have the backbone to tell me herself. Had she been honest with me I could have at least been friends but I think she's destroyed any chance of that. Normally I wouldn't mind so much but I really thought she was special. I don't think she meant to mess me about (I could be wrong,) - she claims to have a fear of conflict so I think she's just been too scared to say anything to me in case I got annoyed or hurt, but guess what? This has been a fucking textboook example of how to do both. I haven't been this hurt in a long time.

Pardon my french but what an absolute fucking cunt.

I know there are other women out there that aren't like this, but I can't go through this shit again. Unless my perfect match comes along, I fucking give up on the whole thing.

I would go out tonight and drown my sorrows but I haven't got my wallet back yet and I've cancelled my card anyway and I have no cash.

Fucking fucking fucking fuck.