narshada

Ah crap.

I think that S has a pretty bad crush on me and obviously some of that is my doing. Don't get me wrong, it's always nice if someone likes you, but it has complicated things. I went around last night and we ate and watched Family Guy, but towards the end she got quiet and seemed a little... either awkward or upset, I wasn't sure which.
I asked if she was ok and got the bog standard, "yeah I'm fine" that everyone uses to mean, "I'm not fine but I don't want to talk about it."

The topic of us having slept together again surfaced briefly, but neither of us really knew what to say.
I was a little worried that I'd upset her on the way home, but I got a text as I got in saying she'd enjoyed hanging out and wanted to hang out more and that she'd wanted to give me a hug before the one we had as I left, but she'd felt awkward.

I like S, I'm just not sure if I've got anything to offer her at the minute or if I even want to be in a relationship right now. I'm still reeling from being a little bit burned by H, who I know I kind of went over the top with - too much too fast. In fact I'm sure it was as much my fault for coming on too strong too soon as it is the situation she's in that lead to her not coming to visit in the end and things cooling off between us. Thing is, if she hadn't have been so full on with me, I would have taken things more slowly. H and I are still speaking most days but it's just kind of light and friendly stuff - there's been no flirting or anything since.

It's always dissappointing when you meet someone you think you could really like and they like you and then suddenly it doesn't happen.