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narshada

Cambs, UK

Member Since 2007

Followers 171 Following 439

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Monday Oct 01, 2007

Oct 1, 2007
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The weekend went well. I ended up getting a train to see my family (88! Gah!) which was nice to just sit and chill out and let someone else do the driving. I like catching trains and I like travelling on my own, I just wish it wasn't so bloody expensive.

My grandma enjoyed her birthday and I enjoyed catching up with my family, as I don't get to very often any more.

I got my car back this morning! Yipee! 550 well spent, although I've got to take it back in tonight as one of the gearbox mounts was broken and he was getting the part in this afternoon.
I did notice the temperature was high while driving to work though, so that's a concern.

I'm at a stuck point in my life. I planned to stay in this job for 2-3 years in order to gain experience and show that I can stick a job out for more than a year. I've been here a year and a half so I've started thinking about what I want to do and I honestly don't know.
There are a fair few perks to working here - I'm the only IT guy so I get a lot of say in how things run. I get to wear my own clothes. I get to buy cheap clothes and skateboards and every now and then get a few freebies. (I got about 4 t-shirts and 2 hoodies in the last couple of months but that's way above average.) I like (most of) the people I work with and that's really important.
Downsides are that I look after 2 head office sites which are about 25 miles apart and 14 shops which are all over the country - Southampton to Edinburgh. I also don't get paid what I really should although that might (should,) change when I have my second annual review in April. I don't get an awful lot in the way of support.

So do I leave and find a better paid job where I might not be interested in what the company does and may have to wear a suit & tie, (the horror!) or do I go self employed somehow, maybe consultancy or something? Or do I look at moving elsewhere in the country? I like Bristol a lot but I don't know if I want to settle here permenantly. Or do I look abroad? The States? Canada? Oz?

The second thing I'm stuck on is relationships. I can't decide if I want one or not. It's something of a moot point, because although I have been getting more female attention recently, no one is battering down my door to ask me to go out with them.
That said, I find myself thinking that if they did, would I accept? Sometimes I really don't want to be in another relationship just yet and I'm enjoying my freedom to go out and do stuff. Other times I really miss having someone special in my life that I can be with. (Plus I really miss having regular sex.)
This sort of feeling swings back and forth a couple of times a day and is getting to be a distraction. I still miss my ex sometimes and I find myself thinking that the chances of meeting someone really special that really 'got me' and vice versa are pretty slim. I did meet S recently and we got on really well, (and still do,) but there were a couple of barriers to us getting together - the main one being she already has a boyfriend.

*Sigh* I just want someone to think I'm pretty... whatever

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