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narshada

Cambs, UK

Member Since 2007

Followers 171 Following 439

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Tuesday Sep 11, 2007

Sep 10, 2007
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Had a rough day at work yesterday, more because of my frame of mind than anything else which has been a bit up and down lately.

Went out to salsa last night with V and E. V met a girl who used to live in our house, (before I moved in,) who is really nice and who has stayed over before, so she sat the first lesson out and talked to her. (Not that I would have seen V anyway, as she is in the super-uber fucking good class and I'm in the beginners one.)
E came to the begginners class with me, which was fun again but we only did one move that we didn't do last week, so although it was good to go over stuff again, I think next time I go I'll go into the intermediate group.

Every time I got to dance with E, I kept pulling stupid, sleazy faces to make her laugh, which worked but she thought that was how I looked when dancing, so I had to explain that no, the other women did not get the same treatment as they would think I was a mental.

There was one girl there who was nice and pretty good - she'd obviously done some before and we exchanged a few words while dancing and she told me she thought I was going to be good at it, so I went over to talk to her after the classes were done, (I figured nothing is going to happen with me and E, so what the hell,) and we kind of got chatting but she was pretty drunk. I asked her if she was coming again next week. She said probably not as it was late to be out for a work night. I said it was a shame as I had enjoyed dancing with her. She motioned to the dance floor, as if to say lets dance now then, but I had to decline as E was up really early for work and wanted to head off. So this girl asked where I lived, to see if she could walk back some of the way with us but we weren't going the same way. I can't remember what comment I made - maybe something about seeing her to a cab or something, but she replied with "Yeah, 'coz I feel real safe with you," but in a sarcastic tone.
Now obviously we'd only just met so she doesn't know me, but I thought that was a shitty thing to say to someone who had worked up the nerve to come say hi and then offered to make sure you got to a cab ok, so I just said, "Oookaaay... that's my cue to leave - so, bye." and walked off.

Now I'm kind of a sensitive guy at times and like I said my emotional state has been a bit up and down lately, but that kind of hurt my feelings. I know she was drunk and possibly didn't mean it the way it sounded, but my brain chemistry decided that it was going to take it badly.

Anyway, I walked E home and we ended up with our arms around each other's waists/shoulders - at one point she asked if I minded her draping herself over me, so I said, "Yeah, you're actually really heavy," (jokingly of course,) at which point she disengaged, taking it literally. I explained that I was kidding - not a big one for sarcasm that girl. So she put her arm around me again, but as far as I'm concerned it's just friends. I saw her home ok and then walked back to mine, still thinking about that girl's comment and came to the conclusion that I'm giving up on dating for a while (not that I've actually had any dates since my ex and I split.).

I've been thinking that the odds of finding my ideal woman are pretty fucking slim - I'm not all about looks but I'd have to find her attractive and we'd have to connect emotionally and in terms of sense of humour etc, (not only that but she'd have to be single and preferably not have kids yet but probably want some - ok I know, but this would be my ideal remember,) and although I sound kind of picky, most of that wouldn't matter as long as I had a connection with someone, but it's really not that often I meet women that I even have a connection with on that level, so fuck it, I'm going it alone for the foreseeable future.

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