narcissus

Whenever I am truly troubled, I go to church and the priest somehow knows exactly what to say. He is my idol and the biggest reason for my wanting to stay in CA. He seriously answers specific questions that nag me more than my mother ever could. Besides my dad, there's no one in this world I respect more. I love my mom, but she doesn't understand me. She doesn't realize that YES, every minute of my life is spent thinking about how my dad is dead and yet I have to go on and live a respectable life. She thinks I somehow forget, somehow spending time w/ my boyfriend & friends detracts from perpetuating my misery. Well, it doesn't. It's not that she is a bad person, she's not, she's like the mother from "Real Women Have Curves", a neurotic Hispanic woman on a mission.

Do I lack communication skills or do I just think that I do? Is this why I am a biologist rather than a psychologist, theologian, or philosopher?

I drink too much. Don't give me anything to drink. On Friday, I got lost in West Oakland b/c I drank too much. Thank goodness for my fro, o/w they would have never found me.