I am in a very 
bad mood today. I hate it when something is off and I don't know what to do about it. I am supposed to go out drinking, but I know I shouldn't b/c it's my abuse vices mood. If I could just have one cigarette, I think I would feel better. I probably wouldn't, but I want one anyway .
I feel like such a douchebag for being absent for so long and for missing out on things. I almost thought I would cancel my SG, but isn't that what I do with everything? I always run away b/c I don't care. But I do? I hate life, I hate work, I get very little enjoyment from things, I'm constantly stressed, I hate being happy and miss being miserable b/c I want to quit. But being happy is nice and I should appreciate it and be glad that I am not actually suffering. There you have it, I am a brat.
bad mood today. I hate it when something is off and I don't know what to do about it. I am supposed to go out drinking, but I know I shouldn't b/c it's my abuse vices mood. If I could just have one cigarette, I think I would feel better. I probably wouldn't, but I want one anyway .
I feel like such a douchebag for being absent for so long and for missing out on things. I almost thought I would cancel my SG, but isn't that what I do with everything? I always run away b/c I don't care. But I do? I hate life, I hate work, I get very little enjoyment from things, I'm constantly stressed, I hate being happy and miss being miserable b/c I want to quit. But being happy is nice and I should appreciate it and be glad that I am not actually suffering. There you have it, I am a brat.
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You're not "a douchebag." Everyone goes through these moods. There are times when work here drives me so off the wall I want to pull my hair out. I don't do so, and I hope you won't either, since I'm pretty sure we're both better off with our hair where it's at.
You don't sound like someone that just runs away. At least that's not the impression I've gotten from reading your journals. Besides, you're half-Greek, and we're supposed to have that "never say die" thing on 24/7.
sinisterbhvr's a pretty smart guy. You have to take the rollercoaster in stride.