I have this paranoid fear of one day being a single father, or whatever they call it when the guy doesn't have full custody. I do not want to be a weekend dad, or a holidays dad, or whatever is between the two. I have seen this happen up close, experienced it myself with my parents, and I never... EVER... want to go through it. It sort of taints my relationships in some ways I think, since I feel like I can't commit unless I fucking KNOW I want to, or else this situation could occur.
My best friend is heading toward this for the second time. He was in a very self-destructive relationship a few years ago but stayed in it anyway, for whatever reason, and the girl got pregnant. He became a holidays daddy or worse, mostly because the two of them can't get along well enough to have any sort of responsible weekend arrangement. A couple years later he got with this really cool chick, one of those couples that are disgustingly perfect for each other, and they had a kid. Now, for some reason, he's depsressed and upset all the time, calling and telling me he's "dead."
I don't want to get into his situation too much, this is my fucking blog after all. The point is if a great couple like them can go through this, and a generally good guy like him can end up in this situation twice, it only contributes to my seriious paranoia about ending up the father of some kid I never see living three states away. How do I guard against this with 100% efficiency? I can't.
This is one of those things that seems to be impossible to tell a girl, when you've been going out for two months and she "loves" you and wants to move in together, and you're like "no" and she takes that as rejection. I'm not afraid to commit, I'm not emotionally unavailable, I'm just fucking cautious.
My best friend is heading toward this for the second time. He was in a very self-destructive relationship a few years ago but stayed in it anyway, for whatever reason, and the girl got pregnant. He became a holidays daddy or worse, mostly because the two of them can't get along well enough to have any sort of responsible weekend arrangement. A couple years later he got with this really cool chick, one of those couples that are disgustingly perfect for each other, and they had a kid. Now, for some reason, he's depsressed and upset all the time, calling and telling me he's "dead."
I don't want to get into his situation too much, this is my fucking blog after all. The point is if a great couple like them can go through this, and a generally good guy like him can end up in this situation twice, it only contributes to my seriious paranoia about ending up the father of some kid I never see living three states away. How do I guard against this with 100% efficiency? I can't.
This is one of those things that seems to be impossible to tell a girl, when you've been going out for two months and she "loves" you and wants to move in together, and you're like "no" and she takes that as rejection. I'm not afraid to commit, I'm not emotionally unavailable, I'm just fucking cautious.
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I always get worked up on adrenaline in the beginning of the semester, determined to kick ass and I do well until about half-way through. Then I get lax and screw up just enough so that I'm making myself sick trying to salvage my grade by the end. It wouldn't be such an issue if I didn't have to compete to get into clinicals.
Now you're the one freaking me out. Get out of my head! If you move to Philly, we are taking dancing lessons together.
I don't know why I didn't think of this before... a far cry from ballroom dancing, but I can actually belly dance a (very) little bit. I learned from my best friend who is Lebanese... she would absolutely kill me for saying I dance like a white girl.
I'm allll about a jam session. It's almost impossible to come up with a concrete answer for the favorite band question... although I usually say Incubus for mine (unless we're talking about their most recent album, but we won't go there). I grew up hearing 80s and a lot of classic rock thanks to my dad. "Welcome to the Jungle" is the first song I can remember hearing besides Disney sing-a-longs, and I probably knew the words to half of The Doors' singles by the time I was in the 2nd grade.
Hahaha! I literally laughed outloud when I read that because I feel the same way. If it's weird, well, at least we're weird together
I love Aqueous Transmission (the Asian song) - I put it on repeat when I have trouble sleeping. SCIENCE is my favorite album... Anti-Gravity is actually my favorite song from it, along with Idiot Box. It's funny most people I know didn't like ACLOTM, but it comes close to being my favorite album. That was the year I first saw them live and it changed my life.