here's really what it comes down to
I don't have any tattoos, I have minimal piercings, mild coloring in my hair, make up is put on every day to try to glam up what's there, careful selection of wardrobe, everything that would point me out as someone not meant to be a Suicide Girl.
What comforts me in this exterior calm chaos, is that my chaos, is on the inside. What I burry, what I smother with all of my strength, the reason why I get anxiety attacks when I allow myself a moment to reflect. And Suicide Girls is slowly teaching me that my inner chaos is something of beauty as well. That not everything has to have reason behind it. That things can just be and just are, just because. And that's a beautiful thing.
Life, is a beautiful thing. The will to choose, to pick, to say and do what we please. To choose not to allow the walls of society to cage us in. I've always cherished my small rebellions that are camoflauged from the world. My first was my naval piercing, hidden from view and yet it defined me at the time. I was the only one I knew with one and soon after my small rebellion was everybody's fashion statement. So I got more holes in my ears. Followers came following. Finally, after a long time of reflection and weighing or whys and why nots, I got my nose pierced. My final decision being, if I hate it so much, and I pierce it, all the attention it gets will make me get over it. And now, I've come to love it and think of it as another cute asset that's coming popping out of my treasure chest. And all I'm doing is looking for more pops.
My breasts, once hated, are now cherished. My clit, once disgusting to me, now holds such stimulating pleasure just when I see it. To know I am a woman. To see the curves of my legs and hips ending in this small garden of love and lust that can bring a man to his knees, makes me feel powerful. Curling toes, fingers gripping at skin, bite marks left on the surface. All of these are things I love! I love sex! I don't know what else to say.
I used to be ashamed and bashful about my sexuality. I argued when I was called an addict. Enraged when I was called scandelous. Sex is an ultimate act of pleasure, as well as trust. It is a means for me to share who I am. I don't feel myself at all until I am making love. It's in those moments, when the lights are low, the brands are gone, and nobody says a thing. All there is, is the sounds of breath, gasps, such intense eye locking stares that you can almost hear thoughts. You can read movement, predict passion. And know that there is no other place that person would rather be than right there with you in that exact moment.
It's like my soul is flowering outward. Like I am finally growing, blooming, shineing for everyone to see. And I like that. I do not want to hide myself any longer. I do not want to stand aside and watch as everybody lives the amazing lives I want for myself.
I am proud to be who I am. what I am. And anything I choose to become. I am proud to touch the SG Family.
Here goes nothen.
I don't have any tattoos, I have minimal piercings, mild coloring in my hair, make up is put on every day to try to glam up what's there, careful selection of wardrobe, everything that would point me out as someone not meant to be a Suicide Girl.
What comforts me in this exterior calm chaos, is that my chaos, is on the inside. What I burry, what I smother with all of my strength, the reason why I get anxiety attacks when I allow myself a moment to reflect. And Suicide Girls is slowly teaching me that my inner chaos is something of beauty as well. That not everything has to have reason behind it. That things can just be and just are, just because. And that's a beautiful thing.
Life, is a beautiful thing. The will to choose, to pick, to say and do what we please. To choose not to allow the walls of society to cage us in. I've always cherished my small rebellions that are camoflauged from the world. My first was my naval piercing, hidden from view and yet it defined me at the time. I was the only one I knew with one and soon after my small rebellion was everybody's fashion statement. So I got more holes in my ears. Followers came following. Finally, after a long time of reflection and weighing or whys and why nots, I got my nose pierced. My final decision being, if I hate it so much, and I pierce it, all the attention it gets will make me get over it. And now, I've come to love it and think of it as another cute asset that's coming popping out of my treasure chest. And all I'm doing is looking for more pops.
My breasts, once hated, are now cherished. My clit, once disgusting to me, now holds such stimulating pleasure just when I see it. To know I am a woman. To see the curves of my legs and hips ending in this small garden of love and lust that can bring a man to his knees, makes me feel powerful. Curling toes, fingers gripping at skin, bite marks left on the surface. All of these are things I love! I love sex! I don't know what else to say.
I used to be ashamed and bashful about my sexuality. I argued when I was called an addict. Enraged when I was called scandelous. Sex is an ultimate act of pleasure, as well as trust. It is a means for me to share who I am. I don't feel myself at all until I am making love. It's in those moments, when the lights are low, the brands are gone, and nobody says a thing. All there is, is the sounds of breath, gasps, such intense eye locking stares that you can almost hear thoughts. You can read movement, predict passion. And know that there is no other place that person would rather be than right there with you in that exact moment.
It's like my soul is flowering outward. Like I am finally growing, blooming, shineing for everyone to see. And I like that. I do not want to hide myself any longer. I do not want to stand aside and watch as everybody lives the amazing lives I want for myself.
I am proud to be who I am. what I am. And anything I choose to become. I am proud to touch the SG Family.
Here goes nothen.
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Cheers!