Disclaimer- This quiz is in no way affiliated with the Simpsons tv show. These names and characters are used without permission from the Fox Broadcasting company. We assume no legal liability for any copyright infringement infringed by this quiz as it was written by a purely fictitious and malicious person.
(not me)
Self Discovery Today: Find Your Inner Simpsons Quote*
*or a funnier way to kill time.
1. If you made a dating video it would probably go something like this:
a. Youre looking at a free lunch boys. Come and get it.
b. Hot tamale, looking for spicy meatball.
c. Class act, looking for woman of principal.
2. You are fired out of a cannon you would rather land in:
a. The museum of sandpaper.
b. A display of sulphuric acid bottles.
c. A pillow factory*
*which is immediately demolished after your landing in it.
3. Pick your favourite Itchy & Scratchy show title:
a. Sundae Bloody Sundae.
b. Scar Trek: The Next Laceration.
c. Why Do Fools Fall In Lava?
4. Finish this sentence: Mmmmm
a. Organized crime.
b. Incapacitating
c. Unprocessed Fish Sticks.
5. You would watch a show whos theme song went like.
a. Skinner with his crazy explanations / The Superintendents gonna need his medication / When he hears Skinners lame exaggerations / Therell be trouble in town tonight!
b. Professor Frink, Professor Frink / Hell make you laugh / Hell make you think / He likes to run and then the thing with the. person and the
c. Some folks never eat a skunk / but then again some folksll / like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel.
6. Hi Im Troy McClure you may remember me from such cartoons/telethons/TV Series as:
a. Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes To Summer Camp
b. Out with Gout 88 and Lets Save Tony Orlandos House
c. Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die and Gladys the Groovy Mule
7. You identify with which of the following Personality Disorders in soft-spoken self-help guru Brad Goodmans Feel Bad Rainbow?
a. Indecisiveness/Decisiveness.
b. Geriatric Profanity Disorder or GPD.
c. Darting eyes, Bossiness, Uncontrollable falling down, Insomnia.
8. The tombstone reads:
a. We are richer for having lost him.
b. Elvis, Accept it
c. Your Name Here
9. When he leans out of the window, Milhouse leaves himself open to:
a. Wedgies.
b. Wet Willies.
c. The dreaded Rear Admiral.
10. You might be a Slack Jawed Yokel if:
a. You say; hot damn! No more sittin in the dirt at the Drive-in! after you take your drivers license photo.
b. You look for Rhinestone Halter Tops with Tassels at the outlet store for your wife Brandine.
c. One of more of your children are named; Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Kaitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-Bert, or Phil.
The Bonus extra-special-discovery question.
Only one in Two Million people has what we call the evil gene including:
a. Hitler.
b. Walt Disney.
c. Michael Jackson.
And the Survey Says
For every a. answer give yourself 2 points.
For every b. answer give yourself 1 point.
For every c. answer give yourself 3 points.
If you know Milhouses dads name, give yourself 1 point
If you like Strawberry Ice Cream, give yourself 3 points
If you know the name of Homers Bowling Team, give yourself 2 points
If you read the Satellite, subtract 12 points
If you the name of Barneys mother, give yourself 6 points
If your name is Dan subtract 8 points
If you know the word whos definition is ones wordiness, giver yourself 8 points
If you ever said Ha Ha after something embarrassing happened to someone, give yourself 2 points
If you ever invented Tomacco, subtract 4 points
What does it all mean?
-10 to 0
and to think I got all this after dropping out of the fourth grade.
-Freddy Quimby.
Or
Everybody makes mistakes thats why they put erasers on pencils
-Carl.
0 to 5
A Nobel Prize Winner! An NBA All-Star! Ooooh, look one of the Sweathogs!
-Marge.
Or
Dont ask me, Im just a girl
- Malibu Stacy.
5 to 10
Well now that Itchy & Scratchy are on the Gabbo Show, heres Eastern Europes favourite cat and mouse team Worker and Parasite!
-Krusty.
Or
You dont have to eat Meat I made enough gazpacho for all!
-Lisa.
10 to 15
You deserve all the finest things in the world and although I can give them to you, they will be repossessed and I will be hunted down like a dog.
-Excerpt from Homers farewell to Marge.
Or
Im afraid your husband is dead. Just kidding.
-Dr. Hibbert.
15 to 20
Oh, thank you. My English is not perfect, but I have to tell you, your beer is like swill to us. Do I have that right? I am saying that only a swine would drink this beer.
-Fritz.
Or
Ive done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.
-Ned Flanders.
20 to 25
Lisa if you dont like your job you dont strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Thats the American way.
-Homer.
Or
First person to blink is a dead man
-Kearney.
25 to 35
She fell in with that Guiness Book of Records crowd. Suddenly she didnt have any time for me. Oh, I wore a 15 pound beard of bees for that woman but it wasnt enough.
-Grampa, on his ill fated romance with the oldest woman in the world.
Or
How come we only get to go to church three times a week?
-Rod Flanders.
35 to 40
Whats so special about this game anyway? They built a mini mall, so we built a bigger mini mall. They made the worlds largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
-Lisa questioning the rivalry with Shelbyville.
Or
Ah. Diorama-Rama, my favourite school event next to Hearing Test Thursday.
-Principal Skinner.
40 to 45
Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? Ill buy something.
-Barney, to the waiter at Jittery Joes Coffee Shop.
Or
I did once try to kill the worlds greatest lover. But then I realized there were laws against suicide.
-Sideshow Bob.
45 to 50
Since you attended public school, Im going to assume youre already proficient with small arms, so well start you off with something a little more advanced.
-Firing range Instructor handing Bart a mini-rocket launcher.
Or
You little S.O.B.! When I find out who you are Im gonna shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt!
-Moe.
50 to 55
I cant believe Im spending my Saturday picking up garbage. I mean half of these bottles aint even mine.
-Lenny, picking up trash beside the highway as required by Mr. Burns.
Or
One twenty-nine cent stamp? Thats a dollar eighty-five. Thank you. Come again.
-Apu.
*Combined with my utter anticipation of Simpsons Dungeons and Dragons does this make me a nerd yet?
-N
(not me)
Self Discovery Today: Find Your Inner Simpsons Quote*
*or a funnier way to kill time.
1. If you made a dating video it would probably go something like this:
a. Youre looking at a free lunch boys. Come and get it.
b. Hot tamale, looking for spicy meatball.
c. Class act, looking for woman of principal.
2. You are fired out of a cannon you would rather land in:
a. The museum of sandpaper.
b. A display of sulphuric acid bottles.
c. A pillow factory*
*which is immediately demolished after your landing in it.
3. Pick your favourite Itchy & Scratchy show title:
a. Sundae Bloody Sundae.
b. Scar Trek: The Next Laceration.
c. Why Do Fools Fall In Lava?
4. Finish this sentence: Mmmmm
a. Organized crime.
b. Incapacitating
c. Unprocessed Fish Sticks.
5. You would watch a show whos theme song went like.
a. Skinner with his crazy explanations / The Superintendents gonna need his medication / When he hears Skinners lame exaggerations / Therell be trouble in town tonight!
b. Professor Frink, Professor Frink / Hell make you laugh / Hell make you think / He likes to run and then the thing with the. person and the
c. Some folks never eat a skunk / but then again some folksll / like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel.
6. Hi Im Troy McClure you may remember me from such cartoons/telethons/TV Series as:
a. Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes To Summer Camp
b. Out with Gout 88 and Lets Save Tony Orlandos House
c. Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die and Gladys the Groovy Mule
7. You identify with which of the following Personality Disorders in soft-spoken self-help guru Brad Goodmans Feel Bad Rainbow?
a. Indecisiveness/Decisiveness.
b. Geriatric Profanity Disorder or GPD.
c. Darting eyes, Bossiness, Uncontrollable falling down, Insomnia.
8. The tombstone reads:
a. We are richer for having lost him.
b. Elvis, Accept it
c. Your Name Here
9. When he leans out of the window, Milhouse leaves himself open to:
a. Wedgies.
b. Wet Willies.
c. The dreaded Rear Admiral.
10. You might be a Slack Jawed Yokel if:
a. You say; hot damn! No more sittin in the dirt at the Drive-in! after you take your drivers license photo.
b. You look for Rhinestone Halter Tops with Tassels at the outlet store for your wife Brandine.
c. One of more of your children are named; Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Kaitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-Bert, or Phil.
The Bonus extra-special-discovery question.
Only one in Two Million people has what we call the evil gene including:
a. Hitler.
b. Walt Disney.
c. Michael Jackson.
And the Survey Says
For every a. answer give yourself 2 points.
For every b. answer give yourself 1 point.
For every c. answer give yourself 3 points.
If you know Milhouses dads name, give yourself 1 point
If you like Strawberry Ice Cream, give yourself 3 points
If you know the name of Homers Bowling Team, give yourself 2 points
If you read the Satellite, subtract 12 points
If you the name of Barneys mother, give yourself 6 points
If your name is Dan subtract 8 points
If you know the word whos definition is ones wordiness, giver yourself 8 points
If you ever said Ha Ha after something embarrassing happened to someone, give yourself 2 points
If you ever invented Tomacco, subtract 4 points
What does it all mean?
-10 to 0
and to think I got all this after dropping out of the fourth grade.
-Freddy Quimby.
Or
Everybody makes mistakes thats why they put erasers on pencils
-Carl.
0 to 5
A Nobel Prize Winner! An NBA All-Star! Ooooh, look one of the Sweathogs!
-Marge.
Or
Dont ask me, Im just a girl
- Malibu Stacy.
5 to 10
Well now that Itchy & Scratchy are on the Gabbo Show, heres Eastern Europes favourite cat and mouse team Worker and Parasite!
-Krusty.
Or
You dont have to eat Meat I made enough gazpacho for all!
-Lisa.
10 to 15
You deserve all the finest things in the world and although I can give them to you, they will be repossessed and I will be hunted down like a dog.
-Excerpt from Homers farewell to Marge.
Or
Im afraid your husband is dead. Just kidding.
-Dr. Hibbert.
15 to 20
Oh, thank you. My English is not perfect, but I have to tell you, your beer is like swill to us. Do I have that right? I am saying that only a swine would drink this beer.
-Fritz.
Or
Ive done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.
-Ned Flanders.
20 to 25
Lisa if you dont like your job you dont strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Thats the American way.
-Homer.
Or
First person to blink is a dead man
-Kearney.
25 to 35
She fell in with that Guiness Book of Records crowd. Suddenly she didnt have any time for me. Oh, I wore a 15 pound beard of bees for that woman but it wasnt enough.
-Grampa, on his ill fated romance with the oldest woman in the world.
Or
How come we only get to go to church three times a week?
-Rod Flanders.
35 to 40
Whats so special about this game anyway? They built a mini mall, so we built a bigger mini mall. They made the worlds largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
-Lisa questioning the rivalry with Shelbyville.
Or
Ah. Diorama-Rama, my favourite school event next to Hearing Test Thursday.
-Principal Skinner.
40 to 45
Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? Ill buy something.
-Barney, to the waiter at Jittery Joes Coffee Shop.
Or
I did once try to kill the worlds greatest lover. But then I realized there were laws against suicide.
-Sideshow Bob.
45 to 50
Since you attended public school, Im going to assume youre already proficient with small arms, so well start you off with something a little more advanced.
-Firing range Instructor handing Bart a mini-rocket launcher.
Or
You little S.O.B.! When I find out who you are Im gonna shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt!
-Moe.
50 to 55
I cant believe Im spending my Saturday picking up garbage. I mean half of these bottles aint even mine.
-Lenny, picking up trash beside the highway as required by Mr. Burns.
Or
One twenty-nine cent stamp? Thats a dollar eighty-five. Thank you. Come again.
-Apu.
*Combined with my utter anticipation of Simpsons Dungeons and Dragons does this make me a nerd yet?
-N
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I hope I'm not the best looking woman in the band.... mainly because I'm a guy....
but to give you more of a clue as to what the band is I will be in a preist's costume with a purple mohawk *grin*
and making incredibly insensative jokes about preists and young children with a lisp in between songs.
I'm trying to decide if I want to try for the black metal makeup and if so to what degree.
what kind of music did you play? it sounds kinduve like Spinal Tap..... only with women... what insrument/part did you play in the band?
I am originally from Muskoka