Been too out of touch with what has defined in the past for too long. It's taken a long time to realize, but the discovery is nevertheless most welcome.
Performance is part of the core that makes me which I've pushed aside and ignored for too long. I've taken the easy way out of situations, problems and life for too long, which is a sufficient explanation for why I'm just now finishing my bachelor's in civil engineering. Never simple solutions, but definitely the easier. The first big changes in my life came 6 years ago when I decided the time had come to make the physical changes I needed. Physical changes are not the only changes that are the focus of my evolution today, but something far more influential. I've abused friends and relationships in this time, and occasionally blamed past experiences, but I've always advocated taking responsibility for one's own actions, so I'll be taking it a level higher.
The thing that drives me nuts is that I had a career in horn performance..... was principal/assistant principal horn for 5 amateur and professional orchestras in MI, then allowed criticism and failure of an instrument to get the best of me. I tried to rekindle the efforts two years ago with the MSU concert orchestra, when during an audition was asked to be the assistant principal of the music performance major's horn section, which I took reluctantly, ending with an on-stage, mid-performance failure.
This close to graduation, I really can't say I can refocus efforts elsewhere, but transportation planning/engineering isn't really that terribly interesting to me. It is mildly, but my waning potential in a career in music pushed me this way. Another influence in my life has kept me at a virtual standstill for just over three years. With upcoming events occuring in the next week or two, it's going to be incredibly more difficult to remain focused over the next 3 months, especially when I've learned that my project team from school will be presenting in a Department of Transportation planned event, where any professionals in the nation can attend, of which my team will be presenting an hour long presentation. No stress.
Enough about my QQing. I almost forgot I have a birthday coming up. Would anyone have any suggestions? I haven't really thought about it.
Performance is part of the core that makes me which I've pushed aside and ignored for too long. I've taken the easy way out of situations, problems and life for too long, which is a sufficient explanation for why I'm just now finishing my bachelor's in civil engineering. Never simple solutions, but definitely the easier. The first big changes in my life came 6 years ago when I decided the time had come to make the physical changes I needed. Physical changes are not the only changes that are the focus of my evolution today, but something far more influential. I've abused friends and relationships in this time, and occasionally blamed past experiences, but I've always advocated taking responsibility for one's own actions, so I'll be taking it a level higher.
The thing that drives me nuts is that I had a career in horn performance..... was principal/assistant principal horn for 5 amateur and professional orchestras in MI, then allowed criticism and failure of an instrument to get the best of me. I tried to rekindle the efforts two years ago with the MSU concert orchestra, when during an audition was asked to be the assistant principal of the music performance major's horn section, which I took reluctantly, ending with an on-stage, mid-performance failure.
This close to graduation, I really can't say I can refocus efforts elsewhere, but transportation planning/engineering isn't really that terribly interesting to me. It is mildly, but my waning potential in a career in music pushed me this way. Another influence in my life has kept me at a virtual standstill for just over three years. With upcoming events occuring in the next week or two, it's going to be incredibly more difficult to remain focused over the next 3 months, especially when I've learned that my project team from school will be presenting in a Department of Transportation planned event, where any professionals in the nation can attend, of which my team will be presenting an hour long presentation. No stress.
Enough about my QQing. I almost forgot I have a birthday coming up. Would anyone have any suggestions? I haven't really thought about it.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
sinjun:
I am looking for a job again, still in school and liking that. Just getting through a day at a time. I have a website to work on and still trying to start my own business. Soon things will be even more awesome than they are at the moment.
inannamute:
Hai hai!. You doing ok?