i feel lost and empty today.. i went to nmc last night which was a huge legal cruise... and it was amazing, it was fucking awesome, there was 700 + cars in attendance and 25 show cars, lambo door kits, wide arches, custom ice installs, huge kits - was fucking amazing, it really did, went with my friend kaylors. Met with mark (Who's this guy I'm shagging at the moment) he was being or seeming to be very canoodly with me and well I wasn't too keen on this.. scott was there.. my ex.. my last proper ex and this other guy was there..
but anyway.. scott gave me a few dirty looks and I sent him a text about it and he stopped.. and well ever since seeing him yesterday I can't stop thinking about it.. constantly.. so much so I was even talking to him on msn tonight - we both unblocked each other and now its made me miss him even more, I'm leaving in a week and half, why couldn't we have started to put differences behind us and started being as good a friends as we were sooner? I keep crying - I'm having an emotional day.. but I do really do actually miss scott.. he apologized for how he'd been - and we both admitted we'd made mistakes with us and we were both so sorry things had happened like they did, and he admitted he was acting different and he didn't mean to be.. and I dunno.. maybe.. maybe.. maybe I don't know what.. I just know I really miss him and I really want to see him before I go home
I don't know what to think.. I'm just getting so many thoughts and images of him
sorry i've not been around so much these days people - i'm sorry i've not been here for the dear friends ive made here. i love you - you know who you lot are. so i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder to go along with my depression oh yay. i'm leaving leicester on the 31st of may.
but anyway.. scott gave me a few dirty looks and I sent him a text about it and he stopped.. and well ever since seeing him yesterday I can't stop thinking about it.. constantly.. so much so I was even talking to him on msn tonight - we both unblocked each other and now its made me miss him even more, I'm leaving in a week and half, why couldn't we have started to put differences behind us and started being as good a friends as we were sooner? I keep crying - I'm having an emotional day.. but I do really do actually miss scott.. he apologized for how he'd been - and we both admitted we'd made mistakes with us and we were both so sorry things had happened like they did, and he admitted he was acting different and he didn't mean to be.. and I dunno.. maybe.. maybe.. maybe I don't know what.. I just know I really miss him and I really want to see him before I go home
I don't know what to think.. I'm just getting so many thoughts and images of him
sorry i've not been around so much these days people - i'm sorry i've not been here for the dear friends ive made here. i love you - you know who you lot are. so i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder to go along with my depression oh yay. i'm leaving leicester on the 31st of may.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
It's a hard pill to swallow, but bottom line, it's for the best. Right now you're clinging to what you consider to be the last true moments you felt happy, but don't forget, there's a reason he's your ex. It's good to reminisce on the good 'ol days, but don't kid yourself, even if you plan on patching things up and you both agree in giving it another shot, it'll never be the same relationship again. Plus, it's obvious you've both started to move on and forward with your lives, you should keep your mind on that track.
I'm sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but I just don't want you to immerse yourself in the what if's, only to come into some harsher realizations. You're not alone now, nor will you ever be. You should stop thinking that you are.
Lot's of love! and hope you feel better...