Ok so I apologise for the state of this in advance. Im drunk. It's 1:32 in the morning, christmas eve. Christmas fucking eve. Joy eh?
What joy.. im sad beyond belif right now. I cnaqt seem to stay true to things. Or I can just in my own fucked up way. I mean I thought I knew what I wanted. Today, or rather yesterday, th 23rd December was my 7th anniversary of having reflex symapathetic dystrophy. It ruined my life and my teenage yrs. All because I slipped on a magazine. Stupid thing. Because of it I got bullied severely. Because of that I got depressed. Because of that I cut and wanted to kill myself. Because of that I was glad when I was shown attention. Because of that I became a slut. I've lost count sort of, of the blokes I've been with
I'm gonna try doing a count lets see shall we..
will, dave baker, lee, andy, phil, juan, james cowley, phill, gary, che, winny, nick, leigh, dave, Adrian, shak, saj, krzyseu, Mario, james steano, mark.. I think that's right, im not sure
out of all of those.. theres only 3 I don't regret Phil.. who I was seeing for months
Juan, because I adore him and love him to bits
Mark, because I love him and he treats me like a princess.
This yr has been very self destructive.
Bad things this yr:
sleeping with as many as possible this yr,
getting pregnant
Loosing it
being stupid enough to get to that state in the first place
Self destruction
Alowin myself to be molested in a night club of sorts
Finding out my granddad had cancer
My granddad dying
Being unable to figure out what I want
Another yr of rsd anniversary
My parents divorce still ongoing and messy
My dad telling me he didn't care if I starved
Good things this yr:
Meeting mark
Things with juan
Things with phil
Going to university
What joy.. im sad beyond belif right now. I cnaqt seem to stay true to things. Or I can just in my own fucked up way. I mean I thought I knew what I wanted. Today, or rather yesterday, th 23rd December was my 7th anniversary of having reflex symapathetic dystrophy. It ruined my life and my teenage yrs. All because I slipped on a magazine. Stupid thing. Because of it I got bullied severely. Because of that I got depressed. Because of that I cut and wanted to kill myself. Because of that I was glad when I was shown attention. Because of that I became a slut. I've lost count sort of, of the blokes I've been with
I'm gonna try doing a count lets see shall we..
will, dave baker, lee, andy, phil, juan, james cowley, phill, gary, che, winny, nick, leigh, dave, Adrian, shak, saj, krzyseu, Mario, james steano, mark.. I think that's right, im not sure
out of all of those.. theres only 3 I don't regret Phil.. who I was seeing for months
Juan, because I adore him and love him to bits
Mark, because I love him and he treats me like a princess.
This yr has been very self destructive.
Bad things this yr:
sleeping with as many as possible this yr,
getting pregnant
Loosing it
being stupid enough to get to that state in the first place
Self destruction
Alowin myself to be molested in a night club of sorts
Finding out my granddad had cancer
My granddad dying
Being unable to figure out what I want
Another yr of rsd anniversary
My parents divorce still ongoing and messy
My dad telling me he didn't care if I starved
Good things this yr:
Meeting mark
Things with juan
Things with phil
Going to university
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
If the number of bad things on the yearly summary outweighs the good, then it's just a sign to appreciate them that much more.
I wish you all the best in 2007. Here's to us, because we're still standing.